Handling interrupts when priorities change

October 28, 2009 by JD · 6 Comments
Filed under: Musings 

It’s been awhile since I’ve done any blogging, but I’m back and, hopefully, I’m going to have the time and energy to get lots done over the coming weeks.

I’m finally feeling better now that I’m past all my fall allergies. It’s amazing how much more I can get done when my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to explode!

So, what’s with the title of this blog post?

Sometimes life intervenes and we have to adjust our priorities to handle them. That’s why I’ve been mostly offline for the last week or two.

A few months ago, I received a notice from the NC government that they wanted to recoup all the money they spent last year for the few months Mom was in the nursing home before she died.

If that happens, I don’t know what I’m going to do. It looks like the only option will be to sell the house and land and find a new place to live.

The trouble is that I’ve been living here since the mid-1990s, ever since I was divorced.

I planned to stay for a few weeks and help Mom do some things around the house and property and then I was seriously considering moving back to Arizona.

That didn’t work out.

The longer I stayed here, the more I realized that Mom needed more help than I was aware of. That really got serious in 2002 following her cancer surgery. She was no longer able to care for herself and I made the decision to bring her back home and care for her.

So, I did that for over six years. She lived at home and I cared for her 24/7.

Last July, her health declined rapidly and there was no choice but to move her into the nursing home. I still don’t like it, but I had no choice.

She was there for a few months and died just before Thanksgiving, nearly a year ago.

Ever since, I’ve been trying to settle her estate and deal with lots of unexpected issues including some serious health problems of my own this year, a decline in my business income, increase in expenses, and one problem after another.

Sigh.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been working around the clock to respond to a letter I received in early September from the NC Department of Health and Human Services.

I finally responded to that letter a couple of days ago and now we’ll see if they will give me a waiver on the thousands of dollars they want from Mom’s estate or if I’ll have to sell everything and leave.

If I had the money, I’d write a check and send it to them. I never wanted the state to pay for Mom’s care in a nursing home. In fact, I believe that I’ve saved the state of NC hundreds of thousands of dollars because I cared for Mom myself.

But, I don’t have the money.

During the years I cared for Mom, I fell farther and farther behind in my profession and I don’t think I’ll ever again be able to do professional computer consulting and database work. My health has declined to the point where I could not hold down a full-time job, even if I could find one around here.

So, I’ve done all I can do. Now, it’s just a matter of waiting to see what happens.

If they grant the waiver, I’ll be able to turn my full attention back to trying to earn a living. If not, I’ll disappear from all my online haunts for a few weeks while I throw out everything here and try to find a place to live and a way to pay for it.

If they insist on payment, maybe they’ll give me some kind of payment option and maybe they won’t.

I never expected that I’d ever be facing the possibility of the Sheriff selling Mom’s home on the courthouse steps, but that’s a distinct possibility in November.

Am I worried.

No. I’m scared.

But, it’s one of the things that life throws at us and we have to deal with them.

I’m hoping that 2010 will be a much better year than 2009. This has been the most difficult 12 months of my life and I’m hoping that things will turn around, soon.

I’m trying to keep a good attitude and continue to work, but it’s a struggle sometimes.

I hope your year is going better than mine!

All the best,

JD

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