I am happy to report that I’m feeling better!

August 3, 2010 by JD · 11 Comments
Filed under: Dilbeck Marketing, Family, Friends, Personal 

(This is a long post, written following the end of surgeries related to treating my cancer and just now starting chemotherapy. Unless you really know me and are obsessively curious (or just have a lot of free time on your hands), you may not want to read all of this.)

As some of you already know, I have been feeling bad for two or three years and it all came to a head in March, 2010 when I came close to dying. Very Close!

In fact, if I hadn’t been living with my daughter and her family, I don’t think I would be here to write this post this morning. When I couldn’t get out of bed they insisted that I go to the emergency room, and hospitals and I just have not had a good history. Why? Because I’ve been disgustingly healthy for my whole life until a couple of years ago.

To make this long story short, I was diagnosed with severe anemia and got 7 units of blood. By the time I got out of the hospital a few days later, my head was starting to clear and I began to realize that I was in a serious situation and just had not been able to think clearly enough to recognize it and tell that it was remarkably worse than just feeling bad for a few days. Looking back on it, I’m surprised that I could not tell how badly I was doing.

One thing led to another and a series of ultrasounds and CT scans showed a huge tumor in my abdomen. My friend and very skilled surgeon, Dr. Henry Meinecke at Murphy Medical Center, insisted on a colonoscopy, so we went ahead and did it. Yep. It was colon cancer and was pretty advanced, either Stage 3 or Stage 4 depending upon which doctor you talk to. Either way, it came close to being terminal cancer, and I’m not totally out of the woods yet.

On April 1st, (yep, April Fools Day), Dr. Meinecke ripped my guts out.

April Fools!

(Sorry, just couldn’t help it.)

Well, he really did, in a manner of speaking. He tells me to quit saying he ripped my guts out, because he used skillful and very precise surgical techniques to save my sorry life! That he did. He removed about half of my large intestine and part of my small intestine and reconnected them. While he was inside my abdomen, he removed the tumor and my gall bladder which had a large gall boulder in it.

Interestingly enough, I hadn’t been having any pain. Over the years, I’d go through a week or so of pretty intense discomfort, but not pain. I knew something was wrong, but I don’t have insurance and medical treatment is very expensive, so I did what I could to get well. It worked in most cases, but this cancer that decided to attack me and invade my space didn’t play by the rules and launched a sneak attack that was almost successful.

A few days before my intestinal surgery, however, things changed radically. I went from no pain, or mild discomfort, to having intense pains in my abdomen, especially when I was riding in a car and hit a bump. This was pretty severe. I’d rate it about an 8 on my pain scale.

The ultrasounds and CT scans showed that the tumor was large and advanced, and someone said it was about the size of a newborn baby, so I named it Charlie. Why? Because it’s a lot easier to say “Charlie” than it is to say “that big tumor in my guts that is hurting like a son of a bitch!” I’m a lazy guy and my daughter and her family don’t like to hear me curse, so I said Charlie.

After the surgery, we learned that the tumor was a bit over 8 lbs. Fortunately, it was contained in a big lump and had not spread all over my abdomen. Dr. Meinecke was sure that he’d managed to remove all of it, about two dozen lymph nodes, my gall bladder, and my bad habits.

(April Fools, again. Everyone who knows me will tell you that I don’t have any bad habits. blush.)

In a few days, I was feeling quite a bit better. I had remarkably little pain following the surgery and came home a week later when I stopped being nauseous and could eat again. I wasn’t able to do much for the whole month of April but rest and recuperate.

In May, I moved into Castle Dragon and I plan to live here for the rest of my life. I like living alone and caring for myself, but I also love living right next door to Dena, Stacey, Dakota, and Katie. I also get to see Courtnie more than I used to. It’s great having family close by and we see each other every day and still stay out from under each others’ feet. I’m loving it here.

The last few months have been busy with more CT scans, a PET scan (hated it), ultrasounds, and biopsies of my thyroid glands and liver.

I had three large lumps in my thyroid glands and they were biopsied. Fortunately, the diagnosis was benign and I was told that it was nothing to worry about, but they should be watched in the future, just in case that changes. So, I didn’t have to have one surgery I expected. Yippee!

Then we had to start dealing with the tumor they detected in my liver. It was located in the right lobe of my liver and that’s the lobe that is much more difficult to operate on. My potential surgeon, Dr. Moffat, in Asheville, was telling me that this would be major surgery, about like open heart surgery, and that I could expect to stay in the hospital a week or longer and take quite a while to fully recover.

However, since it was in the right lobe, he wanted to present my case to a team of surgeons, radiologists, oncologists, technicians, and others, before doing any surgery. He also wanted a needle biopsy to confirm that it was cancer before doing anything.

After the conference with the team, he said that I looked like a good candidate for radio frequency ablation (RFA).

Instead of opening me up, cutting out part of my liver, and sewing everything back up, the RFA would be done by inserting needles that were connected to a radio frequency generator. With the size of my tumor, if it was cancerous, it would require three needles to be used at the same time to effectively treat the whole area. But, first, let’s get a biopsy and make sure of what we’re dealing with.

I went to Mission Hospital for the biopsy and was not looking forward to it.

I more or less knew what to expect after having the needle biopsies on both thyroid glands. It was uncomfortable, but not really painful. I expected the liver biopsy to be about the same.

At one time, probably in 10th grade biology, I knew where a liver was located, but then I forgot all about it. The only thing I’ve thought about is that liver tastes awful and I won’t eat it. I’m an adult and you can’t make me eat it. ‘Nuff said.

I know you may like liver. Most of the people in my family do. Y’all can fight over my share. I don’t want it. Now, before you go ewwwwwww!!!, I’m not talking about my liver, silly. I mean chicken, beef, and other critter livers. I’m keeping my liver all to myself for as long as I can. So there!

So, they did the biopsy using a CT scanner to make sure the needles were placed properly in the tumor. I waited a couple of days and was very happy to hear that it came back as benign. Surgery and/or RFA would not be necessary.

I did a little happy dance and so did my friends and family.

But, on the same morning I wrote about it on Facebook and we were all celebrating, Dr. David Moore called from his vacation at the beach and said the results were wrong. He’d seen the scans and how it had grown and he was positive it was cancer. He said he would insist on another biopsy if I had been his father and strongly, very strongly recommended that I have the biopsy redone. He said he would arrange to do it himself, even though he was going on night shift at the hospital for a few weeks.

I thought about it for a couple of hours, talked it over with Dena, and decided to redo the biopsy. I didn’t tell anyone else, because I didn’t want to “harsh their mellow.” So I started writing about my top secret dangerous mission that I couldn’t write about. I gave some clues, but I don’t think anyone deduced that I was getting the liver biopsy redone. I had some fun letting my imagination run wild and tried to write about it as if it were a spy story. My name is D, J D.

So, Dena drove me back to Asheville and Dr. Moore performed the biopsy himself, this time using ultrasound to guide the placement of the needles. He said this tumor was a bit clearer on ultrasound than on CT scan. This time it went even easier.

He told me that he was sorry to bring me down and that I should not get my hopes up that this result would come back benign. He was positive it was cancer and he wanted to treat it before it got worse. All of my doctors were cautiously agreeing that we could win this war and cure this cancer attack.

I waited a couple of days and got the news. It was cancer. So, we scheduled the RFA a couple of weeks ago. We went back to Mission Hospital in Asheville, NC and Dr. Moore came in and did it himself, even though he was working night shift the day before and after. I appreciate him giving up his sleep to care for me. Not everyone would do that.

The RFA went better than I expected. I was told that some patients have severe pain for a week or more following the treatment. I had practically none. Yes, it was sore, and if I roll over on my right side just right, it’s still a bit tender, but not bad at all.

I was talking and joking with the doctor, nurses, and technicians until they started giving me the happy juice through my port. First I felt very relaxed, and then he ordered Versed and something else and it was lights out for me for the next 30 or 40 minutes. I was starting to come out of it just as he was finishing and started to remove the needles. He said I would feel a bit of pain, and if it hurt too much to say so and he would give me more drugs before ending the procedure.

I’m not totally sure that I know how RFA works, but my understanding is that the needles are used to conduct radio waves that heat and destroy the surrounding tissue. By using three needles at the same time, the effective radius of treatment would overlap to kill the entire tumor and a bit of surrounding tissue to make sure the cancer was annihilated!

Think of it as microwaving liver until it is burned. What’s for dinner tonight? Liver? Fava beans? Chianti? (grin) (cringe) (elaborate shudder)

It did hurt a bit, but not much, so he finished it up, told me it went well, and I was off to spend the night in St. Joe’s Hospital across the street from Mission. I had a 10th floor room and video recorded a view out the windows. I edited it yesterday while I was getting my first chemotherapy treatment, and here it is…

View from 10th floor at St. Joe’s Hospital in Asheville, NC

That evening, I was starting to feel some pain and told the nurse. She asked if I wanted pain meds. I asked what was ordered. I think the choices were delaudid, percocet, or morphine.

I was hurting, but not enough for percocet or morphine, so she gave me a couple of delaudids and I had an easy night and woke up feeling pretty good the next morning.

When I got home later that day, I had to take one oxycodone tablet, but that is the last pain meds I had to take. Through all of these surgical procedures, I have been fortunate to be remarkably pain free and I appreciate that.

So, two weeks ago, the RFA ended the surgical strikes and now we’re moving on to the chemical warfare campaign in this war on cancer. This body is pretty big, but it’s not big enough for both me and cancer, and I intend to take it back for my own selfish use.

I was talking to Dr. Meinecke a few days ago and he said everything about my case has been unusual. The big tumor was contained instead of growing throughout my abdomen. It had spread to only 7 lymph nodes. It had not spread to my thyroid as suggested by the scans. I had healed rapidly and had experienced remarkably little pain. And, most importantly (to me at least), I was the first and only patient who asked, following a colonoscopy, if he’d found any cave trolls hiding in there.

He told me that when he first realized how big the tumor was and that it had grown out into my abdomen and was eating through the muscles, that he didn’t expect me to live much longer.

That was never my plan, however. From the first moment it was diagnosed as colon cancer, I have been using visualization techniques, self-hypnosis, and other things I’ve used over the years to control the pain in my knees and lower back. I fully intended to kick this cancer’s butt to the curb and we’re making it happen.

There is only one acceptable outcome in this war. We will kill this cancer and I will be a cancer conqueror (not just a survivor) in five years.

As my brother said, we have to beat this cancer so I can die of a massive heart attack in my 70s during July or August, like all the Dilbeck men do in our branch of the family. I value family traditions and I don’t want to set off on a different path.

We found out that the cancer in my liver was colon cancer that had metastasized there. The scans show no evidence of any other places it has tried to find a home.

So, we leave the surgical strikes behind us and move into the chemical warfare campaign.

I started chemotherapy yesterday at my oncologist’s office in Blairsville, GA. That sounds like it’s a long ways from home, but I live near the state line and his office is, too, so it’s only about a half-hour drive when I’m driving (and a bit less when Dena’s driving).

Forty years ago, I could have made it in 15 minutes, but I’m not that crazy these days. It’s one of the reasons I’ve survived as long as I have.

My oncologist is Dr. Manfredi and he works for Georgia Cancer Specialists. They have a whole team of nurses and technicians and can do chemo and (I think) radiation treatments on the premises. They are located right next to the hospital in Blairsville in the building with the big clock on a tower.

Have I mentioned that Dr. Manfredi is a very important member of Team Dilbeck? (And, so are YOU!) He and his whole team specialize in killing cancer and saving patients.

My oncologist kicks cancer’s butt with one hand tied behind his back — and wins!

Have I said recently that I appreciate everyone on Team Dilbeck? Well, I do. You’re playing a very important part in winning this war!

Who’s on Team Dilbeck? All my family, friends, and acquaintances who have given support, wishes, and prayers for my recovery. People who have lent an ear when I felt like talking and left me alone when I didn’t. People who encourage me every day and make me feel better and stronger in this fight. I love you guys and appreciate you.

In addition to family and friends, Team Dilbeck also includes the doctors, nurses, technicians, and all the other people in the health system who have cared for me in several doctors offices and hospitals over the last half-year. I have met a remarkable group of caring, friendly, and skillful people who are experts in killing cancer. They are my hired guns in this war. They may smile and joke with me, but they are soldiers of fortune in waging war against this terrible disease that affects so many of our friends and neighbors through their lifetimes.

Fortunately, these hired guns are getting better and better at what they do, and more and more of us are conquering the cancers that attack us.

Of all the people in the medical system who have helped care for me, I met exactly one sourpuss. All the rest have been helpful, caring, funny, skilled, experienced, and knowledgeable. That’s why I don’t have to research all of this for myself.

So far, the funniest thing that happened was when a couple of EMTs were transporting me in an ambulance from Mission Hospital across the road to St. Joe’s. We were taking the elevator to the 10th floor when suddenly we heard a loud sound, the elevator jerked, and fell a few feet. We were stuck at the 5th floor. They both gasped in surprise, but I didn’t. I was still jacked up on the Versed, pain meds, and sedatives. I just took it in stride and watched them resolve the issue. They contacted maintenance and a few minutes later a man showed up and opened the doors. We were stopped about a foot or so above the 5th floor, so they got all of us off that elevator and closed it for service. The other elevator we took to the 10th floor was no fun at all and took us there with no incident. That’s what I like. Elevators should be efficient, not exciting.

So, now, that maintenance man is on Team Dilbeck even though I never thought of asking his name or telling him. So are the ambulance guys.

So are you, if you want to be.

What do you have to do to join Team Dilbeck?

It’s simple. Just close your eyes and imagine me being 100% cured of this cancer and back to my often friendly, sometimes irascible, and always flirty and irreverent self. You are helping me get a second chance at living and I don’t take that lightly, at all. I am not going to waste any of the years in my future that Team Dilbeck have given me.

So, close your eyes, imagine me as healthy and strong, tap your heals together three times, and repeat, “There’s nobody like JD…”

(Ruby slippers and saying it out loud are completely optional, but may be a mite more effective if you can. It’s entirely up to you. Grin.)

Team Dilbeck Rocks!

I want to thank Chanel Hilliard for coming up with the name and Deborah Bryan for helping me with the artwork that I’ll be uploading to CafePress and Zazzle as soon as I’m feeling up to it. I’m stronger every day, but my brain isn’t clear and I find it hard to do simple business-oriented tasks. I can write on a blog or post to Facebook without much effort, but I don’t really know how well, or poorly, I’m doing. When I try to do something more serious, I’m fighting through a fog that surrounds my big old brain and makes my eyes glaze over as I’m trying to think it through.

So, even for simple things and tasks, I’m keeping lots of lists and step-by-step instructions for what I have to do. I never used to take any pills, but now I could open my own mini-pharmacy, if it were legal. I finally got my system together and have everything organized for when I have to take everything.

Sunday was the first time I was able to do something relatively simple related to building and maintaining websites, and I worked for several hours finding more information and updating my lens about Dolly Parton on Squidoo. I still want to do more with it, and will, as well as my other 60 or so lenses there and all my websites that I didn’t close last year and this year.

Other things just are not getting done until I’m doing better. I am getting better, and they will get done, but it may be awhile.

You know, fighting cancer is not cheap. One of the pills I’m taking for two days following chemotherapy treatments costs $750 each. Wow!

A pill that expensive should make me stand two inches taller, clear up my skin, change my gray hair back to dark brown, make my feet smell better, and give me the manhood and virility of a porn star. But, all that aside, if it keeps me from being nauseous following the treatment, that will do for now.

So, who’s paying for all of this? That’s a very good question.

I haven’t been able to work and support myself for about a year, although I struggled through the motions until March, when it became impossible to do much of anything.

I’m still earning a bit from residuals and all the websites I built over the last few years, so it’s keeping things running until I can get back in action and resume my marketing business, but I don’t know how long that will be.

In the meantime, I swallowed my pride and applied for disability, medicaid, and food stamps.

I’ve always had a lot of pride that I could take care of myself and those who depended on me. I reached a point where I couldn’t do any of that.

Fortunately, Dena insisted that I apply for any help I could get. So I did, grudgingly.

When you see medical bills in the hundreds of thousands of dollars and not being able to work to put food on the table, it gives you a different perspective on life and people who need help.

Some of my friends will be pissed off by what I’m going to say next, and that’s okay, but I don’t want to lose you as a friend. I just want you to take a moment and rethink things.

I always thought it was each of our personal responsibility to take care of ourselves and our families. We should provide for our own health insurance and set aside money for a rainy day — or an extended health care crisis.

When Mom was diagnosed in 2001 with colon cancer, I closed my metalsmithing business and dedicated my full-time efforts to caring for her 24/7/365 for over seven years. My income dropped and I was able to make ends meet and make a little profit through affiliate marketing, but my main focus was on caring for Mom.

I worked in the next room so she could call me any time she needed something. I slept on the couch next to her so she could wake me easily if she needed anything. I didn’t sleep a full eight hours for over seven years. I was her sole, full-time caretaker and I don’t regret a single moment of it. I learned to take several short naps in the day and night and basically work 24/7 with short rest breaks when necessary.

I still hate that I could not provide the level of care she needed the last few months of her life, but I’m satisfied that I did the best I could.

Now, during my own health crisis, I am proud to say that my daughter Dena and her husband Stacey have done their best to care for me when I needed it and I appreciate all they do for me. Words are inadequate to express this appreciation so I’ll try to show it every time I can. Thanks, guys.

My grandkids, Courtnie, Dakota, and Katie have been big helps, too. Thank you!

So, I applied for help. Food stamps are keeping me alive. My disability was approved rapidly and I’m getting a small check from SSI while I’m unable to work. Medicaid was approved and it is paying for everything other than a few small co-pays when I see doctors or when I buy prescription drugs.

I’m looking forward to the day when I feel a lot better and I can go back to work and support myself. Until then, y’all are keeping me alive through paying your taxes. You may not like it, but I thank you anyway. I will never again gripe about paying taxes when I’m able to support myself. I’ll still try to do everything legally possible to reduce what I have to pay, but I’m not going to curse any more while I’m writing and signing the check.

So, when you rail against “Obamacare” and the worthless people who don’t pay for their own health insurance, don’t pay for their own food, don’t pay for their doctors appointments, and don’t pay for their own meds, now you’re talking about me and I really don’t appreciate it.

You’re free to have your own opinions and vote however you like. That’s the beauty of the USA. All I’m going to ask is that you be a bit more tolerant, and a bit more supportive of people who aren’t able to care for themselves.

I appreciate all your friendship and love you for all your support, but I feel sorry for you for some of your political views. ‘Nuff said. I try not to talk about politics, religion, and sex in public. I don’t always succeed, but I try.

I got a bit side tracked. Let’s talk about chemotherapy for a bit.

I didn’t know what to expect, and I was prepared for a bad experience, and may have some in the future.

John Dilbeck on his first day of chemotherapy image

John Dilbeck on his first day of chemotherapy

However, I’m happy to report that my first two days of chemo are going well. I’m tired, jittery, and don’t have much energy, but it’s not much worse than I was already feeling. There has been no nausea (yet, and hopefully there won’t be).

If you look closely at the picture, above, you’ll see the IV line going to the port on my upper chest. That’s a lot easier than having IVs put into my arms and hands, and they’ve been doing a lot of that the last few months.

It’s a bit of a hassle wearing this pump for a couple of days, but I’m getting the hang of it, and it is nothing compared to serving in the military and being sent to places like Iran and Afghanistan. Those are the people who are facing difficult situations, so I can’t compare my situation to their’s and I’m not going to complain about some minor annoyances.

Last week, I got to where I could walk without a cane inside the castle and on the porch, and I’ve been taking a few steps without leaning on it when walking on level ground in town or visiting my doctors. I’m getting better, more clear headed, stronger, and my balance is improving, too.

I already have one dance promised for Christmas, and I intend to dance a bit at my 40th year high school reunion in October. I may not be much of a dancer, and I’ve sat on the sidelines and watched others look silly instead of dancing myself. But, I have a different view of life now, and I’m not going to miss those opportunities as I am able.

I’m practicing every day with my guitar and my left hand is getting stronger. The songs are starting to become recognizable and fun, again, but F chords and barre chords are still a challenge. I’ll get there. I’m running scales every day and playing a few songs for fun.

I’m self taught on guitar, banjo, mandolin, and fiddle and I intend to relearn them and do it right this time. I’m studying music theory, piano (and need to buy a good keyboard when I can afford it), and I’m watching videos and reading books to help me learn the right way to play guitar, banjo, and fiddle. Thanks to David Brose’s help (he’s the Folklorist and a professional musician who works at John C. Campbell Folk School), I’m going to be able to purchase a decent Gold Tone banjo in a few months. It won’t be as good as the Gibson banjo I played for a long time, but it will be better than I’m able to play right now. Thanks, David!

Some people say you never get a second chance to do things right.

They’re wrong.

I have a second chance and a new lease on life. I’m going to do a lot of things right that I just took for granted for many years.

I laugh every day, smile a lot, say Thank You all the time (and mean it), and look forward to interacting with the people in my life. Even though I’m doing a lot of it via computer, it’s not the same at all as it was when I would immerse myself into a computer programming or writing project for months at a time and then stick my head up to see if we had a new president, if I was still married, or what month it was. Those days are gone forever.

I know of nothing better than spending good quality time with family and friends, and I’m hoping to do more of that with YOU as we’re able.

Thank you for all your support and for putting up with me over the years. You’ll never know how deeply I appreciate it, but I’m going to try to show it every chance I get.

Last night, I was very tired but so jittery that I could not sleep. I felt as skittish as a long-tailed cat in a room full of grannies in rocking chairs at a knitting party. I finally managed to go to sleep around 4 and slept well until after 8. I’m not as jittery now, and other than continuing to be tired and weak, I’m doing great.

I’m feeling better!

This is what I look like as I’m writing this post…

Wearing chemo pump and drinking coffee at home

Wearing chemo pump and drinking coffee at home

I intend to feel a lot better, and your good wishes, prayers, funny jokes and stories, and other things we’ve shared mostly on Facebook have been part of my healing process. I surround myself with good people, humor, great music, good movies, and more good people. I intend to be strong and healthy by my birthday next July and there’s going to be a cookout, jam session, and sing a long. You’re invited.

Team Dilbeck Rocks!

Tags: , , ,

Do you want to start an online business?

June 29, 2010 by JD · 6 Comments
Filed under: Business, Musings, Personal, Site Build It, Success and Failure 

I haven’t been posting to this blog nearly as much as I would like, and you may already know the reason. If you don’t, the short story is that I’m battling cancer and lots of days I don’t feel like doing much of anything. However, the good news is that I’m stronger than I was for the last six months and I believe I’m making progress every day. Hopefully, in the near future, I’ll be able to resume blogging on a regular basis.

I was thinking about the topic of having an online business earlier this morning.

For the last year, I haven’t really been able to do much work, but I continue to get enough income through past efforts to keep my various websites and communities moving along while I concentrate mostly on kicking this cancer’s butt. It really is true that I earn money in my sleep and on days when all I feel like doing is sitting on the porch and listening to the birds and watching the wind rustle the leaves on all the trees that surround my home.

Over the last ten years, I’ve earned a living through my marketing business, even though there have been lots of ups and downs.

It allowed me to work from home and care for my elderly mother for about seven years, and it has kept me afloat for the last couple of years as my health problems took over the majority of my attention.

On Thursday, July 1, I’ll turn 58 years old and I always contemplate what I want to do differently during the next year of my life as my birthday approaches.

Interestingly enough, I find that there isn’t much I want to change other than getting healthy, again. As soon as I’m strong enough and able to think straight, again, I want to resume my marketing business, doing pretty much what I’ve done for the last decade.

That’s pretty remarkable for me. I rarely go that long without becoming disinterested in what I’ve been doing and wanting to try something new.

I love living here in the mountains and working from home. I love it that hundreds of people view my websites every day and enough of them purchase from my recommendations that I still generate some income, even when I’m unable to work.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not generating a lot of income and the last few months I’ve been mostly breaking even, but that still keeps all my websites alive and prevents the loss of all the hard work I put in the last few years.

If I were able to really work on the sites as I did a few years ago, my income would be rising every month and I look forward to doing that again within the next year or so.

If I had been working on a job the last few years and got this sick, I think I would be quite a bit worse off than I am now.

I love being self-employed and I love earning revenue for work I did months or years ago.

What about you?

If something unexpected happened in your life, would you have anything helping you economically? Even if things are going great (and I hope they continue that way!), do you ever wonder what it would be like to work from home and do something you love every day?

I know hundreds of people who are doing just that. Most of them are doing a few similar things in terms of promoting their businesses, but almost all of them are doing something that is interesting to each of them. In other words, they’re not a bunch of lemmings trying to follow the herd and eek out a few dollars here and there. They’ve identified something about which they’re very interested, even passionate, and they’re working to build an online business around that topic (or those topics).

Some are approaching their online business from one direction and others are coming from a different direction, but they all share some common traits: intelligence, a vision of where they want to go, a plan on how to get there, motivation to accomplish what is important to them, the willingness to study and learn what they need to know, and an unflagging belief that they will succeed in reaching their goal, eventually.

That belief is very important.

Life almost never goes in straight lines. We have a series of highs and lows and often have to retrace our steps to find a new path to take us where we want to go when we encounter the detours that life throws at us.

Many years ago, Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich said, “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

That has been my motto for almost 40 years, since I first read that book in my late teens.

I’ve proven to myself over and over that I can achieve what I want as long as I can clearly see it in my imagination, can develop a plan to achieve it, and then take action to accomplish each step in that plan.

In fact, I’m dealing with my cancer in the same way. I intend to kick this cancer’s butt and regain my health within the next year. I intend to resume working in my marketing business and doing the things I love.

What do you want to accomplish during the next year of your life?

Another of my mottoes is, “A year from now, I will be better than I am today.”

Sometimes I don’t achieve that goal, but, so far, I’ve always bounced back when life knocks me down a peg or two.

You can do the same thing.

I hear many of my friends and people with whom I come into contact say that they want their own business so they don’t have to commute to work and be subject to someone else’s dictates.

Yet, over and over, year in and year out, relatively few of them ever take the steps to achieve that goal. They don’t analyze what they want to do or make a plan on how to get there. They don’t identify the milestones and take the steps every day to reach those goals.

The next year, they are no closer to their goal than they were the last.

Does that describe you?

What steps have you taken in the last year to get you closer to what you want out of life?

Have you done all that you could to get there?

Why not?

What is stopping you from making your dream a reality?

Is it lack of money? That’s just an excuse. Lots of people with no money have worked hard and made their dreams real.

Is it lack of knowledge? That’s also an excuse. The entire world’s knowledge is available to you through your computer.

The same is true for just about any excuse you can throw up to explain why you are no closer to your goal than you were a year ago.

Do you really want to do what you think you do?

It’s a hard question to face. Perhaps you’re more interested in the fantasy than the reality.

Maybe you think that owning your own business and working from home is like living in paradise.

Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t.

When you own your own business, you, alone, are responsible for everything that gets done and everything that doesn’t. The hours can be longer than working a job, especially in the first few years of starting it. The pay can be less than working a job, but sometimes the lack of commuting, buying business clothing, eating lunch in a restaurant, and all the other expenses related to working for someone else can be reduced when you work at home so the resulting net loss may not be as much as you might think.

I’ve worked many long hours planning and building my online business and I’ve had successes and failures along the way.

Most of my income came through affiliate marketing and that was drastically reduced when North Carolina’s legislature passed new tax laws and some of the major businesses with which I was affiliated canceled my relationship to them. For example, for years I received income from Amazon.com for recommending products that I knew to be useful and a good value. When people would click on the link to the product and purchase it, I would earn a small commission.

When the tax law was passed, Amazon and others canceled these affiliate relations with me (and all their other affiliates in NC) and *poof* there went one of my major sources of income.

Did I quit?

No.

Did I wallow in self-pity?

Yes, I did, but only for a few days.

Then I turned my attention to developing a new plan for earning an income and it was working well until I became too sick to continue with it. But, I haven’t thrown out this plan, it’s still in place and I’ll pick it back up as soon as I can.

That’s one of the major reasons that I need to keep my existing websites online until the day I can resume marketing them.

I know people who are blind or deaf or handicapped in other ways who are still able to build a business and work at home. Some are making ends meet, others are supplementing their other incomes, and a few are doing very well and earning more than they ever earned working for someone else.

On the other hand, some people I know learned that being self-employed really wasn’t what they wanted to do. They found that they liked working at a job, despite some of the things they didn’t like about it. This helped them to understand what they really wanted from their lives and now they don’t waste as much time daydreaming about the “grass is greener” aspects of being self-employed.

Before I ramble on much longer, I want to come to the point of all this.

Having your own online business may be a very good thing for you, or it may be a disaster in the making. It all depends upon you. Can you identify what you want to do? Can you develop a plan to achieve it? Can you learn all the technical things you need to know to make it work? Can you avoid the distractions that abound when you look for ways to make money online? Are you self-directed and motivated to achieve something, even if the rewards may follow only after two or three years of hard work?

Can you work to build something for the future, or do you want your rewards right now?

It all depends upon you, and I can’t offer you any advice if you really don’t want to do what’s necessary to build your business. I don’t know any shortcuts that work, and the whole idea that it’s easy to make a fortune on the Internet is just a big lie some people tell you to get your money.

Ten years ago, I didn’t know who to listen to and who to avoid. I didn’t know what advice was sound and what was just thrown out there to separate me from my hard-earned money. I didn’t know who genuinely cared whether I did well and how to tell them apart from the sharks that are always circling the online marketing newbie.

So, I tested the teachings of lots of people. I spent money and time learning their techniques and following their advice. Most of those experiments were big fat flops. Only a few really proved to be worthwhile and one stood out head and shoulders above all the rest.

You’ve heard me say this many times before, but I’m going to say it again, Ken Evoy, founder of Sitesell, is the real deal. He cares for his customers and works very hard to help each of us build our individual businesses online.

He wrote best selling ebooks to help us build our online businesses and now he gives them away for free. For example, here’s where you can get a free copy of his best-selling ebook, Make Your Site Sell!

(If you collect ebooks and never read them or put into practice what you learn, then don’t bother downloading Make Your Site Sell!, because having it on your harddrive and not doing anything with it is a waste of your time.)

For the last few years, he’s concentrated on making Site Build It! the best system for building online businesses and tens of thousands of real people are following his guidelines and most of them are building successful businesses in niches they love.

Does everyone succeed with SBI? No. I don’t believe everyone succeeds using any set of tools, but more people do well when they follow his advice than they do following anyone else I know and I’ve been researching this topic for over ten years.

Of course, I don’t know everything, so there may be others out there, too, but I don’t know who they are.

So, as my next birthday quickly approaches, I’m happy to see that I don’t intend to do much differently in my business other than dropping a number of experiments that did not succeed (and which were not recommended by Ken Evoy, by the way).

I’m going to concentrate more on my SBI sites and much less on the others, including my blogs, like this one.

What am I going to do for my birthday?

I’m going to stay home and celebrate it in peace and quiet, and then the next day, I’m going 100 miles to have a liver biopsy and radio frequency ablation performed on the spot in my liver that may be a result of my colon cancer, and may not be.

I’m taking the next step in the process to regain my health, and that’s at the top of my to-do list this year. I intend to get healthier and stronger so I can continue to work from home.

What am I going to do for YOU for my birthday?

I’m going to tell you how you can download Ken’s ebooks for free (you don’t even have to give your email address). Yes, those books are a few years old, but the information and advice in them is still valuable.

Even better, I’m going to give you access to the SBI Action Guide.

This is the same guide we follow when we subscribe to SBI 2.0, and you can learn the same things we do. However, unless you subscribe to SBI 2.0, you don’t get all the tools, support, articles, tips, and help from the members-only forum.

You do get a step-by-step guide in what to do to identify your niche, compare it to others, choose the one that’s right for you, and information on how to research and build your business.

You don’t get access to the keyword brainstorming tool, the keyword database functions, nor the sitebuilding tools.

For one or two percent of the people reading this, the information you’ll get from reading the Action Guide and watching the video version of it will be enough for you to use any tools you want to build a successful business.

For a few more percent, you’ll be able to adapt what you learn and use something like WordPress to build a site. Before you invest the time and effort in doing this, have you read Sitesell’s page comparing blogging versus building a hierarchically-organized website?

The rest of you would be better off, deciding if this is something you really want to do, and if it is, then purchase an annual subscription to SBI and give yourself one year to start building the online business you dream of owning. Work on it some every day and you may be amazed at what you can accomplish in as little as a year from now.

Is it free?

Of course not.

Is it affordable?

Absolutely. An annual subscription to SBI costs $300 and that’s less than a dollar a day. Most of you waste more than that and don’t get any nearer your dream.

Is it the only way to succeed.

Of course, it is not.

Is it the way for you?

I don’t know. You’ll have to decide that for yourself.

I know that I’m a satisfied customer and host two sites using SBI. In a few minutes, after I publish this post, I’m going to renew my annual subscription to Murphy Gold so it will be ready for me to continue promoting select small businesses in Murphy, NC, a place I love living, as soon as I’m strong enough to do it.

I started Murphy Gold last year on my birthday after identifying a new direction I wanted to take following being canceled as an affiliate for Amazon and others.

If this cancer hadn’t interfered, I be much further along with the site, but I’ll get back to it as soon as we finish kicking this cancer’s butt to the curb.

It was my birthday gift to myself last year and will be my birthday gift to myself, again, this year.

As I said before, my birthday gift to you is access to the SBI Action Guide.

If you really want to do it yourself, and not make use of the tools that SBI offers, at least give yourself the advantage of the free Sitesell ebook downloads. Learn what you need to do, before you go searching for the tools to do it yourself.

I know I’d like to have back all those months I wasted trying other ways to build successful websites. My SBI sites may not be the prettiest, nor the flashiest, nor have the latest three-column designs, but they work. They attract thousands of visitors and they are easy to navigate. The only thing they lack is all the extra pages I have in my head and don’t have the energy to create right now, but that will be coming in the next few months as I continue to get stronger.

Now, it’s up to you.

Do you want to start an online business?

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I had a very Merry Christmas this year

December 26, 2009 by JD · 5 Comments
Filed under: Family, Friends, Holidays, Personal 

I’m a day late, but I wanted to take a moment and wish all of my family and friends a very Merry Christmas!

I had a computer-free day, yesterday, and that’s very unusual for me.

I spent the day with my daughter and her family and had a wonderful time.

There are many holidays and events that are celebrated at this time of the year and each of us has different views of what is important to us and our family and friends.

Sometimes that leads to big disagreements, which I think is unfortunate.

Over the years, I’ve had good friends who celebrated things differently than I do and I’ve learned to be happy for them and what they believe and not to try to convince them of my way of thinking.

So, even though I have different views than most of my family and friends, I can still enjoy spending a happy day with them and basking in the warmth of love and friendship.

So, whatever you celebrate at this time of year, I hope you enjoyed it with family and friends.

The two holidays I celebrate are Yule and Christmas and I enjoyed both of them.

2009 was a very difficult year for many of us and I am happy that we can have a few days where we can celebrate the good things in our life before we roll into a new year and start the annual cycle, again.

Here’s my wish that all of us will have a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2010. It’s only a week away.

All the best,

JD

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I am very grateful for all that I have – even in a bad year

November 28, 2009 by JD · 3 Comments
Filed under: Family, Friends, Holidays, Murphy NC 28906, Murphy North Carolina, Musings, Personal 

I’m not going to lie about it.

2009 has been a very difficult year for me, but it could have been much worse.

My home is not the home of my dreams, but it gives me a place to live until I can earn enough to buy or build the home I dream of.

This old house is where my parents retired in the early 1970s. They left Atlanta and moved to Murphy, NC. They loved living here, even when times were tough.

Pop died in the summer of 1991 and Mom died last year, just before Thanksgiving.

Both of them have been on my mind a lot this month.

Mom’s birthday was November 6; their anniversary was November 25; Thanksgiving was a couple of days ago. It’s been a month of memories and being thoughtful about what is important in life.

Both of them worked hard all their lives and were quite a bit healthier and stronger in their latter years than I am now. It gives me something to work towards – better health.

Both of them had serious health problems earlier in their lives and they still managed to mostly overcome them over time.

Pop broke his back when he fell off a crane onto a truck’s roof. For years he could do very little. Still, many years later, he could easily outwork me.

Mom had trouble with her legs for most of her life, but that didn’t stop her from doing what she wanted, until her cancer surgery caused nerve damage and she was no longer able to walk unassisted.

So, I can look back on my illness earlier this year and think “poor me” all I want, or I can continue to do what I can to get around and rebuild my strength.

Sometimes life just isn’t easy. It’s the challenges that make us stronger and help us develop real character.

So, maybe that’s what I’m working on now – character.

Money is tight, but I’ve managed to find something to eat for over 57 years while fending off everything that tried to eat me, so I guess that’s some measure of success.

(I’m not sure who said that originally, but I read it some time back and liked it enough to paraphrase it for myself.)

I love living here in Murphy. Sometimes it’s hard to earn a living here, but other people in other areas have had it tough, too. We do what we have to do to survive.

I’ve decided that I want to help others as I help myself and that’s why I’ve dedicated myself to building the best marketing system for locally-owned small businesses in Murphy, NC. You can see the start of it at Murphy Gold and Murphy Connections. Over time, it will get better and better and I look forward to helping small business owners in our little mountain town market their businesses to a wider audience.

While I may not have all I need right now, I do have a plan and I’m working on that plan every day. It gives me something to work towards and that’s important.

Thanksgiving was an interesting day. I spent the day alone, but I still had contact with family and friends online and over the phone.

Several friends called to see how I was doing and to wish me a happy holiday.

I was in touch with family even though I didn’t see them in person.

I was alone, but not lonely. Memories of past holidays gave me good feelings and I smiled quite a bit during the day.

Even though I may not be able to visit my brother and his family this year, I’ll think of them often.

I’m looking forward to Christmas breakfast at my daughter’s house and spending time with that branch of my family. Christmas will be here before we have a chance to turn around a few times.

Would I have enjoyed a house full of people and a table loaded with traditional Thanksgiving food this year? Of course, I would.

But, I’ve done that many times over the last few decades, so missing it now and then really isn’t such a big deal.

I’m grateful for all I have and I intend to redouble my efforts to rebuild my marketing business to where I’ll be enjoying prosperity instead of mere survival.

As we enter into this major winter holiday season, I hope you’ll reflect on all that you have and all the good memories of times and people who have helped shape your life.

We all have a lot to be thankful for.

All the best,

JD

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