How do you deal with stress?

April 25, 2011 by JD · 5 Comments
Filed under: Health, Musings, Self-Improvement

From The Joy Project: Stress is a fact of life, it doesn’t have to be a way of life!

She makes a good point when noting that the meaning of “stress” in common usage has changed over the last 20 years from meaning “stimulation” to “distress.”

This blog post got me to thinking about my own life and how I’ve dealt with stress in the past, and how I deal with it now.

I used to be a real workaholic. Yes, I loved what I did, but I would sometimes bury myself in my work for months at a time. I’d work 100+ hours every week, and would frequently work around the clock for 30 or 40 hours at a time, before sleeping.

I think “bury” is a good word to describe what I was doing. I wasn’t living.

My recent battle with cancer has reminded me that life is a precious gift and living is wonderful. I’m working a bit more than I did for awhile, but I’m never going back to working the hours I used to. I’m not even going to get close to that lifestyle, again.

I’m grateful that I’m getting over the effects of the cancer and chemo and that I’m starting to be able to think more clearly. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to think as quickly and clearly as I once did, but I’m making progress in my recovery.

Every day, I take time to be grateful for at least five things before I get out of bed. I take time to listen to the birds, smell the flowers, hug my friends, appreciate my family, and enjoy this gift. I listen to the rain and dance with the lightning.

Lots of things used to stress me out. Now, I find ways to enjoy them, or laugh at them, or at least reduce the level of negativity I associate with them.

My stress levels are way down and my joy levels are much higher.

I did not enjoy nearly dying last year, but it was an important WAKE UP! call.

I didn’t wait until a holiday to get sick. I got so sick that I could do nothing and faced a choice: get better or die. I think my sense of humor played a large role in kicking cancer’s butt and recovering. I know that the support and friendship I received from family, friends, and acquaintances all around the world helped, too.

I sure hope you don’t have to go through anything as dramatic in order to destress your life and find ways to enjoy it more. It isn’t worth giving away your health in order to get more stuff.

So, how do you deal with stress?

Tags: "The Joy Project", Amanda Gore, cancer, gratitude, health, joy, stress

22nd Century Leadership with Amanda Gore

April 21, 2011 by JD · 2 Comments
Filed under: Musings, TED Talks, YouTube

Amanda Gore has released a series of videos that preview the subject matter she covers in her 22nd Century Leadership presentations at conferences around the world.

She is a highly respected motivational speaker and is very entertaining at the same time.

Even though these are not the actual presentations she gives, there is some good information for business owners, managers, people who are self-employed, teachers, parents, and anyone else in a position of leadership.

(It may have been better if I hadn’t embedded so many videos on one page. Depending upon your Internet connection, the load on the YouTube and TED servers, and other factors, all the videos may not load. If that’s the case, try refreshing the page.)

Here are the first videos she’s released in this series…

22nd Century Leadership – part 1:

22nd Century Leadership – part 2:

Now, before you watch part 3 of Amanda’s series on leadership, watch the following video. She refers to it in part 3, so it’s a good thing to watch it first so you’ll understand what she’s talking about.

Count the number of times the team in the white uniforms passes the basketball:

22nd Century Leadership – part 3:

22nd Century Leadership – part 4:

The following video shows Amanda presenting at a conference…

Mood is the most important predictor of a work culture:

(Zoot! Zoot!)

In part 1, Amanda mentioned Dan Pink. Here’s his TED talk on motivation and the disconnect between what science knows and business does:

The carrot and stick works on donkeys and mules, and on some humans performing a very restricted set of tasks. It does not work with people from whom you want creative insights, more engagement, better satisfaction, and less turnover.

If you’re a manager or business owner, I’d invest about an hour and watch these videos.

If you’re self-employed, you may even find ways to better motivate yourself and get more done.

If you’re a teacher, parent, or some other kind of leader, you’ll probably learn something worthwhile, too. If you’re really pressed for time, watch the video from a conference where she talks about mood being the most important indicator of a work culture. It applies just as well to school and home cultures.

Act on your dream!

Tags: Amanda Gore, Dan Pink, leadership, management, motivation, videos

Moral roots of liberals and conservatives

April 20, 2011 by JD · Comments Off
Filed under: Musings, Politics, TED Talks

Psychologist Jonathan Haidt has identified and studied five moral values that he thinks “form the basis of our political choices, whether we’re left, right or center. In this eye-opening talk, he pinpoints the moral values that liberals and conservatives tend to honor most.”

I just saw this video a few minutes ago and have not had time to really think about it, but it feels like this may contain some important concepts to consider more fully.

I consider myself a progressive liberal on social issues and what he said fits me like an old slipper, which I find a bit surprising.

I don’t want to get into any political debates here, but I’m interested in your thoughts about these concepts. Do they fit with how you would categorize yourself?

Tags: conservatives, liberals, morals, psychology, values

I am rich beyond belief

April 7, 2011 by JD · 9 Comments
Filed under: Musings, Personal

By a lot of people’s standards, I’m poor. But, by my own standards, I’m rich beyond belief.

I have all that I need and some of what I want. I live in an area I love and I’m surrounded by wonderful people and the beauty of nature. I love my work and sometimes confuse it with play. It’s easy to be grateful when I’m blessed with so much.

I remember so many years of dreading the sound of my alarm clock and having to force myself to get up and get moving.

These days, however, I almost never set an alarm and usually wake up just before daybreak. I take a few minutes before I get out of bed to think about — and fully appreciate — at least five things in my life for which I am grateful.

Sometimes, it’s things like living in such a beautiful area. Sometimes, it’s enjoying the peace and quiet. Sometimes, it’s having a marketing business that reaches around the world, and I’m able to run it from my home office or when I’m sitting on the porch. Sometimes, it’s the people I love. Sometimes, it’s the sound of a rooster crowing in the distance.

Each day, I take as much time as I want, to think about and really appreciate these people and things that make my life so rich.

Then, I get up and start the adventure that each new day brings.

Even on the days that I’m hurting, or sick, or tired, or just don’t want to do anything, I feel better just by thinking about, and being grateful for, some of the things that makes my life worth living and enjoying.

Then, I smile, turn on the music, and make breakfast. Watch out world, here I come!

I just thought I’d share that.

Tags: blessings, gratitude

Attitude is everything

March 30, 2011 by JD · Comments Off
Filed under: Inspirational, Musings

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” — Scott Hamilton

“One of the main qualities it takes to be successful is energy…
it may be the only thing.” — Katherine Hepburn

“Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” — Helen Keller

While we cannot control many of the things that happen to us, we can control how we perceive and deal with them.

A bad attitude can suck all the joy out of even the best people and things you encounter in your life.

A positive outlook can make even the worst days better. Maybe not great, but better.

Here is a short movie that presents seven ways to help you stay positive…

Every moment of our lives, we can choose how we will live. That is a wonderful gift that too many people overlook or devalue.

Right now, you can decide how you choose to live.

That choice will immediately make a difference in your attitude. It may be a positive change for a better life, or it may be a negative change that will make your life harder.

Choosing a better attitude has already improved your life, but it’s probably not all you need to do to see different results.

It may take time to achieve what you want, and it may take effort to get there, but a decision is the first step. You can’t know when you’ve arrived, unless you first know where you want to go.

Whether you are concerned about your health, career, relationships, finances, or anything else in your life, you can choose to change one thing: your attitude.

Some people say, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Others say, “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

By changing your perception of the world, you change the world.

It’s not magic. It’s just a matter of deciding to take that first step on the journey to your new destination.

Then another…

…and another…

Until you arrive.

Sometimes, however, we can’t change our circumstances. Sometimes we are dealt a terrible hand of cards in the game of life. I won’t try to say it isn’t so.

But…

It’s not just the cards we hold, it’s how we choose to play them.

We have a choice in our attitude and how much we choose to enjoy the game.

Even on my worst days, I choose to laugh and enjoy life. It can be a very difficult thing to do, sometimes. When there is nothing to laugh about, I feel better by laughing at myself and doing my best to not take things so seriously. This attitude has helped me get through the loss of a lover, unemployment, deaths in my family, business failure, losing my home, bankruptcy, divorce, a cancer that tried to kill me, and other obstacles along my journey through life.

I’ve even managed to survive broken fingernails, bad haircuts, and the first scratch on a new car. (grin)

On my best days, I choose to laugh and enjoy life. It’s a lot easier, on those good days!

Attitude is everything.

All the best,

Tags: attitude, perception

March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month

March 26, 2011 by JD · 3 Comments
Filed under: Health, Musings, Personal

I just now learned that March is colon cancer awareness month.

In my case, that really is true. One year ago, towards the end of March, 2010, I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. I had surgery on April 1, 2010, followed by other medical procedures including radio frequency ablation of my liver, and half-a-year of chemotherapy.

One year ago, I was in very bad shape and it wasn’t clear at all that I was going to survive it. But, during the year, we’ve kicked cancer’s butt. I’m feeling much better and slowly getting stronger.

I wrote about this previously on this blog and elsewhere:

I am happy to report that I’m feeling better!

Thanksgiving was the best in many years

A milestone reached in kicking cancer’s butt

Mission Health System – Western North Carolina

Over the last year, I received treatments at several of the hospitals owned and operated by Mission Health System in western North Carolina, including Mission Hospital in Asheville, NC.

Since my treatments there, they have a new blog, Voices of Courage, and that’s where I learned about March being colon cancer awareness month:

Are you at risk for hereditary colon cancer?

I learned from them that One in every 20 Americans over 20 is a cancer survivor!

More and more of us are surviving cancer. Thanks to better screening, earlier detection, and better treatments, cancer is not always the death sentence it once was. Still, many thousands of people die ever year because of this dread disease.

Recently, I was reading a post on their blog, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.” – Humor and Healing

I can add my experiences to that. Every single day for the last year since I was diagnosed with colon cancer, I have searched high and low for funny things to make me laugh. I’ve watched funny movies on Netflix, Hulu, and YouTube. I’ve read and laughed at funny jokes my friends send me or link to. I’m blessed with being surrounded by people who enjoy laughing and some of them have made this last year much more bearable than it may otherwise have been. (You know who you are. Thank you!)

I have been blessed with support from my loving family and great friends, and a few strangers I met along the way.

I just now searched on their blog and found this post:

A Post from Cancer Survivor and Fighter, John Dilbeck

I have a new appreciation for sunrises and sunsets.

Every day that I wake up and I’m vertical, it’s a GREAT day!

I hope you never encounter cancer. I really mean that. Long life and health to you.

But, if it attacks you, get the best team together that you can find and fight back. Kick cancer’s butt.

I don’t intend to think of myself as a cancer survivor. I, and the rest of Team Dilbeck, are cancer conquerors. Die, cancer, die.

I have great doctors who have helped me through this.

Dr. Henry Meinecke diagnosed the cancer and did the first major surgery.

Dr. Teresa Heavner has worked, and continues to work, to keep me healthy, even though I have not been the best patient. After what happened this year, I’m listening more closely to what she tells me.

I’ve had CT and PET scans done at various hospitals, including Murphy Medical Center, in Murphy, NC, where my first surgery was performed and ongoing tests and scans have been performed.

Dr. David Moore did the RFA on my liver. The original biopsy results on my liver said it was benign. Dr. Moore called me from the beach — while on his vacation — and said the results had to be wrong. He convinced me to have another biopsy done and said he’d do it himself. He was right. The second biopsy showed colon cancer in my liver. Dr. Moore did the RFA (think of putting portable microwave wands in the liver and burning the cancer cells) and successfully destroyed the tumors.

I’m grateful that the RFA worked so well. I had been facing surgery on the right lobe of my liver and that’s a serious operation. Dr. Robert Moffatt, the surgeon who was going to do it, was instrumental in presenting my case to a team of professionals in Asheville, and they concurred that I was a good candidate for the RFA instead of the surgery. My recovery was much faster than it probably would have been, otherwise.

I received great support, counseling, recommendations, and chemotherapy from my oncologist, Dr. John Manfredi, who works in the Blairsville, GA office of Georgia Cancer Specialists.

I’m thanking the doctors by name, but they’re not the only ones who are part of Team Dilbeck. There are many nurses, technicians, other people on staff, and even a couple of ambulance drivers who helped me recover. All of them, and my friends and family, deserve — and get — my admiration and gratitude.

More people than I’ll ever know helped me win this battle.

If you are at risk, or you have the symptoms that something is wrong, see your doctor.

I know that there are millions of us who have no insurance and can’t afford regular preventative medical care, but don’t let disease, including cancer, kill you just because you can’t afford the treatment.

If you have good insurance and can afford great medical care, then be sure to get the preventative screening tests.

It’s no fun getting a colonoscopy, but it’s not as bad as it sounds (other than drinking all that yucky stuff and living in your bathroom the night before the test). Do it.

I, and millions of others, are living proof that you can survive cancer and thrive afterwards.

I’ve done the surviving and I’m working on the thriving.

All the best,

Tags: cancer, health

Thanksgiving was the best in many years

November 27, 2010 by JD · Comments Off
Filed under: Family, Friends, Holidays, Musings

This year, I celebrated Thanksgiving with family and friends and, for several reasons, it was the best Thanksgiving I’ve enjoyed in many years. I’ll remember and treasure it for a long time.

My oldest granddaughter, Courtnie, recently moved into her new home and volunteered to host our Thanksgiving celebration. I’m sure it was a lot of work for her, but many others pitched in to help.

I love watching as the next generation takes on responsibilities and starts traditions of their own that we can share.

When I was a kid, we always went to my grandfather’s house for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Later, as an adult, I would visit various friends and family members as I moved around the country.

This year, I spent Thanksgiving with my granddaughter and look forward to Christmas morning brunch with my daughter. The Christmas breakfast will have some of the same people sharing, but won’t be as large as the Thanksgiving celebration.

I’m not sure how many people were at Courtnie and Danny’s home for Thanksgiving, but it must have been around forty or fifty. It’s a good thing it was a warm and sunny day and we could spread out throughout the house, the porch, deck, and yard. All of us would never have fit inside if it had been cold and rainy.

As with all families, some of us have had our differences in the past, but it was good to see all of us come together and enjoy each other’s company with no disagreements, arguments, or hard feelings.

The food was outstanding, and I really enjoyed the meal, but even more importantly, I enjoyed the after-eating conversation and laughter. We had a great time.

Yesterday morning, over my first cup of coffee, I jotted down some of my thoughts and recollections from Thanksgiving Day and posted them on my profile at Facebook. I decided today that I’m going to repost them here.

I’m thankful for…

…hugs from beautiful women…

…enjoying time together with optimistic, happy people…

…watching a Marine Corps Iraq War veteran roll his eyes when I told him the last time I saw him he was only this tall (and then hold my hand out about waist high)…

…lumpy mashed potatoes, because you know someone took the time to make them the right way, rather than pouring some flakes out of a box…

…hand-made whipped cream with a touch of maple syrup in it…

…laughing out loud with my family…

…watching little children who are just starting their life’s journey…

…letting the old folks fix their plates first, and then realizing I’m one of the old folks and it’s my turn to eat!…

…catching up on all the things going on in our lives…

…Thanksgiving coming just right in my chemo schedule so that I felt good, had some energy, and my taste buds cooperated on one of the most important days of the year…

… having a wonderful, loving, beautiful, and talented daughter…

…hugs from beautiful women…

…and more things I (or you) will think of…

I’m very thankful for still being here. Back in March, it didn’t look like I was going to live this long, but now it’s looking like we’re going to kick this cancer and I hope to be around for quite a few more years.

I had a wonderful time with my family and friends this year.

I hope you did, too.

Tags: Family, friends, holiday, love, Thanksgiving

Chris Anderson: How web video powers global innovation

September 19, 2010 by JD · 3 Comments
Filed under: Internet, Musings, Self-Improvement, YouTube

I enjoy visiting Ted.com on a regular basis, and now that I have a fast broadband connection, I enjoy watching the videos of their Ted Talks.

Today, I watched a presentation by Chris Anderson called How web video powers global innovation.

He gives an interesting and informative presentation on what he calls “Crowd Accelerated Innovation.”

Essentially, this means that we’re all learning at a faster pace because of the use of videos on the Web on sites like YouTube, Facebook, and others. In addition to learning more quickly, we’re also raising the bar on expectations and that means more, and faster, innovation.

I think he’s on to something.

The video is about 19 minutes long and worth the time to watch it.

He makes a very good point about video enabling world-wide face-to-face communications and how we are hard-wired to take in and evaluate all the cues surrounding what someone is saying or doing. If a picture is worth a thousand words, how much more is video worth?

So, what do you think?

Act on your dream!

Tags: innovation, video, youtube

Is the Web dead? Of course not.

August 19, 2010 by JD · 2 Comments
Filed under: Internet, Musings

Have you read the article in Wired magazine about the Web being dead?

How much hype is that? The Internet (and all it’s protocols) and the World Wide Web are growing at a prodigious rate and Wired has the audacity to say that the Web is dead. I don’t understand it. They’re usually much better at presenting the facts than this suggests.

What am I talking about? Chris Anderson and Michael Wolff wrote this article: The Web Is Dead. Long Live the Internet

Normally, I really like reading what Anderson has to say, but this time, I think he’s (they’re) missing the point when he tries to make a distinction between using a web browser versus a specialized app to retrieve information. How does having more options for accessing data mean that the Web is dead?

It may be true that the use of a general-purpose web browser — for some people, especially those who use their mobile devices all the time — is declining. For myself, about a tenth of the time when I’m at home and most of the time when I’m out somewhere else, I use apps on my iPod Touch to read and reply on Twitter, Facebook, and other sites. I check the weather forecast and view the local radar on it.

Those are options I use in addition to my normal Web use. If I didn’t have the iPod, or I were stuck in a doctor’s office with no Wi-Fi, I would not be accessing the net during those times, I’d probably have my nose stuck in a book.

At least in my particular case, using apps on my iPod doesn’t mean I’m using the Web less, it simply means that I have an additional option to interact online when I’m away from one of my main computers.

But, what Anderson and Wolff fail to point out is that most of the content they say is leaving the Web and moving onto apps is still being served by the Web. Other protocols may be used by some people to interact with the data, but most of it still lives on the Web. It’s a technical distinction, but it’s an important one.

Even though I can follow Twitter and Facebook on an iPod/iPhone app, I’m still limited in what I can do. If I want to take full advantage of Facebook, for example, then I have to go there using a Web browser. The app just doesn’t offer the full experience, nor full access to the data.

Is FTP part of the web? No. It’s a different protocol, but it does allow us to upload information that can be served on the web.

Is DNS part of the Web? No, but it’s an essential part of the Internet. Without the domain name service protocols, data packets would not go hither and yon over the network using TCP/IP and we would not be able to access data easily. DNS is a protocol for finding servers and IP addresses and is part of the process used to direct info packets. It is absolutely necessary for the World Wide Web, as we know it today, yet it isn’t really part of the Web. It is one of the ancillary, underlying protocols that make the Web work when we click a link, type in a Web address, or call up a bookmark.

Is email part of the web? No, and yes. If you’re using an email application to send and retrieve email using protocols like IMAP and POP3, it’s not being done on the World Wide Web. However, a great deal of people, possibly a majority, use their browser to read and send email, and that’s definitely part of the Web.

(If you’re interested in knowing more about this subject, Wikipedia has an article about Internet Protocol Suite that links to lots of technical data and explanations. It’ll get you started, but you’ll have to learn a whole lot more to understand how the Internet works.)

Now, do we really care if the information we want to access is being served on the World Wide Web or through some other protocol? For most people, the answer, most likely, is “no.”

But don’t we hold technical writers at a technical magazine up to a higher standard? I know that I do. I go to Wired to get straight information about technical subjects and this time, I believe, they let me down.

I’m one of those people who wants technical subjects to be covered accurately (and I sure hope I am doing that properly here — I hate the way my foot tastes when I get caught with it crammed in my mouth!).

All the stats that I’ve seen show that the Internet is growing at a huge rate. And I am assuming that the use of most of the major application protocols (ftp, telnet, IMAP, POP3, http, etc) is growing too. In absolute numbers in terms of bandwidth, I’m sure that’s a true statement.

However, when looked at from a percentage of bandwidth perspective, then protocols that are very low bandwidth, such as http: and DNS surely fade away when compared to video and audio.

I don’t want to put too fine a point on this, because I don’t want to start making distinctions that aren’t important to most people, but even video and audio are accessed via the Web, using http: protocols. The server may hand off the information from Apache (or another web server) to a different server and stream the data using a non-web-based protocol, but without a Web browser being able to access the information being presented by a Web server, there would not be as much of it being served.

(Does that make sense, or should I just go back to sleep?)

I remember when information was much harder to find than it is now. There were no Web browsers and search engines. We used things like the Gopher protocol and applications like Archie to find and retrieve information. Those were not the good old days. Sometimes it would take hours to find information we knew existed, whereas, now, we can find just about anything in a few seconds by searching on Google.

Web browsers (Mosaic, Navigator, Internet Explorer, Firefox, Chrome, Safari, Opera, and all the others) made it so much easier to read (and interact with) information when we found it.

Search engines and directories made it easier to find, but not nearly as easy as it is today. We tend to take Google for granted and not recognize how much easier it is to find and retrieve information than it has ever been before in history. I don’t use Bing on a regular basis, so I’m not qualified to have an opinion on their service.

Does it make a real difference if I’m accessing Facebook through an API with a specialized app on an iPod as compared to accessing it through Safari, my browser of choice for most things?

Anderson and Wolff say it does make a difference. I’m not so sure.

For another take on this article, Ken Evoy wrote about it on the Sitesell blog, Is The Web Really Dead?, and he approaches the deficiencies of the Anderson/Wolff article from their use of statistics and misleading graphics.

If this article was designed to stir up controversy and bring more readers to Wired’s magazine and website, it was a success. But, does that justify being technically inaccurate?

What do you think?

Act on your dream!

Tags: article, blog, Chris Anderson, Internet, Internet protocols, Ken Evoy, Michael Wolff, Sitesell, Web, Wired Magazine

At Sitesell, all employees tweet to the corporate Twitter account

August 18, 2010 by JD · 4 Comments
Filed under: Dilbeck Marketing, Musings, Site Build It, Twitter

If you’ve read anything I’ve written over the last decade or so, you’ll most likely already know that I’m a huge fan of Ken Evoy, Sitesell, and their products and services — especially Site Build It.

By learning from, and following, the advice Ken wrote in his Make Your Site Sell! ebook, I was able to build an affiliate marketing business and earn 100% of my income working in the comfort of my home in the mountains of western North Carolina. I love living here. I love setting my own schedule. This is my dream job.

Apparently, being a Sitesell employee is also a dream job. There are about 300 of them and they’re located all around the world. The great majority work from home and have no daily commute to work, other than getting a refreshing beverage and turning on their computers.

This year, Sitesell became the first corporation to empower all their employees to tweet to the corporate Twitter account: Sitesell on Twitter.

They tweet about both business and personal topics. Each employee is identified with a hashtag that includes their name and department in which they work.

Ken Evoy is #KenFounder, and other employees work in departments such as Education, Training, Support, Mgmt, Content, Mod (forum moderator), QA, Mktg, Coach, Tech, AffMgr, and others.

Before they started tweeting regularly to this Twitter account, I knew only a handful of them by name and had rare contact with them, and I’ve been a happy customer for over 10 years and have bought quite a few products from them.

(I’ve also been a very happy affiliate for the company over the years. It has been a profitable relationship for me. I’ve earned commissions when people buy Sitesell’s products through my links, I’ve found quality businesses to associate with and earned commissions from them, and I’ve enjoyed all the tools that SBI offers to build my own sites — and there’s more to come in the future.)

Still, with all my experience as a customer and affiliate, I only knew a handful of Sitesell employees by name.

Now, I’m getting to know them better.

During the last year while I’m working mainly to get through this health crisis, I haven’t been doing much with Twitter, and I used to spend an hour or more per day there. There are a handful of Twitter accounts I read on a regular basis and Sitesell’s is one of them.

I think it’s a really cool deal that one of my favorite companies was the first to enable all their employees to tweet (or not to tweet) to the corporate account. Just one more example of all the innovation we’ve come to expect from them and their flagship product, Site Build It.

See their latest Twitter tweets. Click the image below.

If you’re looking for some good, free advice that can help you with building and promoting your business online, I’d like to recommend Sitesell’s Blog to you. I’ve always found the advice to be helpful, free of hype, and based on real experience.

Act on your dream!

Tags: dream job, Ken Evoy, Site Build It, Sitesell, tweet, Twitter

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