Law of Fives as it relates to birth control

March 11, 2012 by JD · Comments Off
Filed under: Musings

Sometimes, when I sleep, my big old brain gets out of its own way and let’s my subconscious make connections I’d never make when I’m awake. This happened last night.

Most of you will not be interested in this, and you can safely skip this and go about your day and lose nothing by doing so.

A small minority of you may actually read this and be illuminated by its clarity. For that, I apologize.

We all heard Mr. Limbaugh calling the young law student a slut and propositioning her to submit sex tapes for his viewing pleasure.

Some people agreed with his stance and supported his basic premise that they were tired of paying for other people to have sex.

Some people were outraged and fought back, and this has resulted in a dozen or more corporations removing their advertising from Mr. Limbaugh’s show, and others that are similarly divisive.

Then, yesterday, I saw the video of the Reformed Whores singing “I’m a slut.” In this parody, they took the slur and redefined the meaning and made it funny and memorable.

So, what did my sleeping brain do? Nothing. It just dreamed weird dreams, but my subconscious put 2 and 3 together and came up with 5.

This reminded me of the Law of Fives from Disordianism, which infallibly states that all things are directly or indirectly related to 5.

So we have Mr. Limbaugh (1), the Reformed Whores (2), women’s health/birth control (1), taxes (1) and that adds up to 5. QED.

But then, looking deeper we have a dozen companies that stopped advertising on his show (at least until the heat dies down) (12), and no matter how I parse it, it seems to contradict the infallible law of fives.

5 + 12 = 17 = 1 + 7 = 8. hmmmm. What am I missing.

I’m too lazy to look up exactly how many advertisers ducked out of the party, and that usually isn’t necessary to apply the law of fives, any way. However, I’m obviously missing something and I’m not going to stop looking until the infallible law of fives once again becomes infallible.

So, in the interests of research, and having nothing better to do while my coffee and blueberry muffin get cold, I found this article: 98 advertisers to drop Rush Limbaugh

It says that 98 advertisers want to avoid this controversy, not a dozen.

So, RL (1) + RW (2) + wh/bc (1) + taxes (1) + a (98) = 103 = 1 + 3 = 4. What?

And then I realized. Me. I’m thinking about this, so 4 + JD (1) = 5. QED.

And there you have it. Proof, that if you look hard enough, you can always find something that supports whatever you want to prove.

People who don’t want to pay taxes so other people can have fun can support Mr. Limbaugh’s slimy tactics and find support for their opinions.

People who want to fight can find ways to make the advertisers flee.

People who want to laugh can write and perform a funny song, or watch it after someone else does the work.

It’s all about perception. Change your perception, change the world. Help someone else change their perception and change their world.

Some do it through fear and that leads to more paranoia and conspiracy theories and uncertainty and doubt.

Some do it through absurdity and humor and that leads to more laughing and we all know laughter is the best medicine (the Reader’s Digest tells us this, so it must be true) and that leads to better health and more pleasure.

More pleasure leads to more sex (and vice versa) and that leads to a need for birth control.

So, I’m inclined to wonder if laughter would also be an effective method of birth control. And it’s cheap, so nobody has to support it through paying taxes.

I know, in my case (and I can speak only for myself) that laughter has been a reliable method of contraception. On too many occasions, I’ve sidled up to a beautiful woman and whispered something in her ear that caused her to suddenly burst into fits of laughter until she’s gasping for breath and tears were flowing from her eyes.

Then, every time she recovered, she’d look at me and fall down laughing, all over again. Eventually, when she could breathe, again, she’d look at me and say, “What? Me? and YOU?” and then she’d fall down laughing, all over again.

It sounds like it would be fun, but it wasn’t.

But, it was effective birth control.

I bet that would work for Mr. Limbaugh, too.

Holy Chao.

(If you’ve read this far and have no clue about any of this, you may want to read some of this: Discordianism)

Now, aren’t you glad you don’t live in my head? (grin)

Tags: opinion

I am starting a new tradition for the day after Thanksgiving

November 25, 2011 by JD · 2 Comments
Filed under: Advertising, Holidays, Marketing, Musings

Today, I am starting a new tradition.

And, I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a strange tradition for someone who loves selling and marketing.

While everyone else, apparently, goes into a month-long extravaganza of profligate spending, I choose to not buy and I will reduce my marketing so that I don’t add to the cacophony of advertising pitches that threaten to drown all of us this time of the year.

I am tired of the crass commercialism and greed of the so-called Black Friday and Cyber Monday shopping hysteria. I choose not to participate.

For most of the last decade, I earned 100% of my income from affiliate marketing and plan to earn a major percentage in the coming years, but I have decided not to promote Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales.

Many of the merchants with whom I am affiliated sent me email this week announcing — breathlessly — their after Thanksgiving shopping sales.

I have chosen not to promote them. I will not promote them in the future. For the most part, I am declaring the few short days between Thanksgiving and Christmas to be commercial-free.

Instead, I intend to focus even more on being thankful for all the blessings I enjoy and for the wonderful people who are my family and friends.

(In fact, about the only things I’ll be promoting are the upcoming events at Sitesell over the next few weeks. Their timing just happens to be now; they are not tied to this season of advertising excess. Sometime in the next few days, Sitesell’s Facebook page will reach a milestone of 50,000 fans — or people who like them, if you prefer. There will be a celebration with prizes and I’m looking forward to this. I have predicted that they will reach 50K fans on December 2, 2011, a few minutes after 2:00pm (ET). The other thing I’ll enjoy is helping to beta test their new sitebuilding tool known as BB2, that should be introduced in mid-December. I’ll be discussing this on my 21st Century Affiliate Marketing blog.)

Years ago, I gave up giving Christmas gifts. I got tired of all the crass consumerism, commercialism, and greed, and decided not to participate.

It’s not because I’m cheap. I enjoy giving gifts, but not when it becomes something that is required. I would much rather give a gift because I see something that I know someone will enjoy and then give it to them for no special occasion. I give gifts because I want to, not because they are expected.

I have extended my personal gift-giving ban to include birthdays, too.

Today, I am carrying my little personal anti-consumerism boycott and protest another step forward.

Today, instead of rushing to the stores to buy more stuff, I will go through the castle and find everything that doesn’t fit and get rid of it.

I don’t remember much from last year, but I do remember deciding that everything had to have a place, or get tossed.

I have lived in a house with someone who reached a point where it was almost impossible to throw things away and I never want to live where stuff is piled up, ever again.

About the only things I’ve bought this year that don’t have a home are all these books. So, now, I have a pile of books in my to-be-read pile (12) and in my reading-them-now pile (5). I’ll be buying more.

(Ironically, they are all related to marketing, advertising, and selling.)

Before the sun sets, they will have a home in a cabinet, and whatever was there, will be gone. Everything else that doesn’t have a place of its own — and that does not include being piled on the couch or floor — will be gone, too.

I don’t have a name for my little protest and I don’t suggest that anyone else should agree with me. I am not trying to start a movement.

Do whatever floats your boat. It’s your choice.

If you want to buy all you can afford (and more) over the next few weeks, go for it.

It’s not for me.

Am I being hypocritical? I don’t know.

Am I being an old curmudgeon? Probably.

Am I tired of all the endless advertising hoopla? Definitely.

All the best,

Tags: holiday shopping, profligate spending

Books – the best investment I ever made in myself and my future

November 11, 2011 by JD · Comments Off
Filed under: A Year From Now, Act On Your Dream, Advertising, Books, Marketing, Musings, Self-Improvement, Success and Failure

If I keep buying books at the rate I have for the last month, I’m going to have to build a new wing on the castle to hold my library. Maybe I’ll give the library at the Biltmore House a run for it’s money. (grin)

When I was a computer consultant, I bought, studied, and re-read over 1,000 books and I don’t know how many magazines and white papers. That was before the Internet and it was the only way to keep up with all the changes and developments.

My wishlist for marketing, advertising, motivational, self-improvement, and “building a business” books is growing every day.

I’m mixing it up as I go. I’m trying to re-read a classic book, a theoretical book, and a practical book (and maybe more) all at the same time. (Well not exactly at the same time, but concurrently.)

I find it funny when people review books on Amazon and talk about a book being old, out of date, and no longer relevant. In most cases, I don’t see that, at all.

Sometimes I think someone gets only what they expect out of a book, and when your expectations are higher, some — not all — books reveal more to you, and the more you know, the more that is revealed.

I also believe that cynical, skeptical people never see the gold that is within their reach. It’s right there in front of their eyes, yet they don’t recognize it.

I’m currently re-reading a couple of great books, “The Success System That Never Fails,” by W. Clement Stone and “Scientific Advertising,” by Claude C. Hopkins. Both were written quite a while ago, and I find both of them to be informative, timely, and very useful. I’ve read both of them before, but it’s been over a decade since the last time.

I always keep a copy of Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich and his huge “Law of Success” books within arm’s reach. Both are bookmarked, dog-eared, underlined, highlighted, and full of my own scribbles. I refer to them all the time.

I recommend Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone’s Success through a Positive Mental Attitude. It has made a positive contribution to the lives of thousands of men and women, including me.

I have several ebooks that Ken Evoy wrote, or co-authored, on my desktop and I refer to them all the time. I read everything he writes and learn something almost every time.

I think some people want to find one book, with all the answers, that lays out a simple, easy-to-follow path to success that works for everyone.

To the best of my knowledge, having read a couple of thousand (or more) books, I don’t believe that book exists. I have found, though, that almost every book I read has a part of the puzzle and a few golden nuggets of brilliance.

As with finding real gold in mountains of dirt and rock, you have to do a lot of digging and following the shiny veins that lead to other veins of value.

A skeptic will never believe that it is possible to find the gold. A gullible person will mistake fool’s gold for the real thing. A prospector will find the most likely place to search for gold and then follow where the clues lead him.

I don’t know about you, but, over time, I tend to remember general concepts and forget details. I have to constantly refresh my thoughts and memories in order to stay on track and continue to be motivated at a high level.

Zig Ziglar once said, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

So, I read motivational books, watch videos, listen to audio, and remind myself that my current situation is not a trap that will hold me forever. It’s up to me to decide where I want to go and how I’m going to get there — and who I’m going to help along the way.

One year ago, I felt horrible. For the last two years, I’ve barely been able to think. I couldn’t work. I could write, and I spent a lot of time on Facebook, writing when I felt like it. I had a couple of surgeries last year and about six months of chemotherapy, and there were days I could not get out of bed.

But, I intended to kick cancer’s butt, and it looks like we did it.

I still don’t remember a lot of what happened last year, but my memory is getting better. I read some of the things I wrote during the last two years and don’t remember writing them. It’s as if I’m reading something written by someone who sounds a lot like me, and it says I wrote it, and I agree with what it said, but I have no memory of doing it.

I’ve made a lot of progress in the last year. I’m alive, I’m getting healthier and stronger, and I’m able to remember what I learn and re-learn.

I’m still on disability and food stamps, but I intend to be off of both of them before I turn 60 on July 1, 2012. That is my number 1 major goal that I’m working towards.

To get there, I’m reading, learning, re-learning, and developing plans for my business and how I can help my clients and readers.

I’ve been evaluating myself and where I want to go. Will I achieve all my goals? I don’t know. I can’t tell the future. I’m sure there will be mis-steps and I’m sure I’ll turn down some wrong paths, but I’ll get back on track and do my best to reach each goal and then set out towards the next one.

Jim Rohn told of the time when he decided he didn’t want to lie to a girl scout, because he didn’t have enough cash to buy any cookies. That was when he started to invest in himself and to develop the skills and the attitude that led to his success.

I found a video where he tells that story:

Learn more from Jim Rohn: The Challenge to Succeed 4-CD Set by Jim Rohn

I listen to quite a few motivational people, some of whom earned fortunes “selling from the stage” by speaking at seminars and events and then motivating people to rush to the back of the room and buy their informational products that helped others lead better lives, as a result of what they learned and how they changed their attitudes and thinking.

People like Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Dr. Maxwell Maltz and Dan Kennedy, and others spent untold hours developing the information they presented.

I come from a working class family. My grandfather on one side drove a trolley and worked in several factories. My grandfather on the other side was a tenant farmer.

My parents worked hard and provided for our family.

I remember one day when I was paving a road in Atlanta in the hot July sun and decided that there had to be more to my future and a better way to live.

That’s the day that I decided to do something about it.

I’d done well in high school, but learned that I did not like Ga. Tech, and quit after a couple of years. Then I worked hard for my living. I never seemed to get anywhere, until the day I decided to change my approach to living.

I was talking to a family friend a few weeks later and he introduced me to Napoleon Hill and gave me his copy of Think and Grow Rich.

It was only a few years later that I started my computer consulting business. Everyone told me it would be impossible. I didn’t have a college degree. I had no family connections. I had no money.

What I had was access to a public library. And, so, I started reading and learning, and planning.

(I think it is interesting that Andrew Carnegie charged Napoleon Hill to investigate the richest people of his time and then to report back on a system that would help others succeed. Mr. Hill spent about 20 years on that project and it resulted in the books I mentioned, and others. It was also Andrew Carnegie who donated the money to start the library where I went to learn how to accomplish what I wanted to do. At the time, that library was very valuable to me, because I had no money to buy the books I wanted to read and no friends who had them. So, I borrowed them from the library, and as I scraped up enough money to afford them, I bought them, and others.)

I was never motivated to earn a fortune, but I enjoyed earning enough to live life on my own terms. I’ve done that for the last 30+ years, mostly. There have been hills and valleys and bumps in the road. There have been obstacles to overcome. It was not a smooth path, but it was the path I chose, doing the things I felt were most important for me and my family.

Now, I’ve hit a new low. It’s the first time I’ve ever been dependent upon someone else to support me since I became an adult. I am happy that disability and food stamps got me past this disease that nearly killed me, but I don’t want to dwell upon it and I will stand on my own two feet and meet each of my goals.

If I have to read a thousand books, visit innumerable websites, learn from hundreds of experts, and invest thousands of dollars — that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

I intend to build a marketing system that works for my clients and I’m going to teach others how to do it, too.

You may be one of those people.

But, I’m not going to give it away.

If you’re a person who wants everything for free and you want it handed to you on a silver platter — you’re in the wrong place.

I intend to help people who are serious about business, and people who already own a brick and mortar business in the real world are the people I want to work with.

They don’t have the time to study and learn how to build a real marketing system, but I do. So, that’s what I’m working on.

In some ways, I’m following in the steps of Ziglar, Rohn, Kennedy, and others. I’m buying their books and studying them.

I subscribe to the Kennedy-Glazer Insider’s Circle and I’m working on reading all the books that Dan Kennedy and Bill Glazer have written.

And, I’m using the knowledge I’ve developed from decades of consulting and marketing my services as a foundation upon which I’ll build my business.

I have no plans to speak at seminars or sell from the stage, but I do intend to sell. I believe that selling is an honorable profession and I enjoy marketing and selling.

So, now I’ve found a way to get paid for doing something I love.

Once again, I’ve blurred the line between work and play and I am looking forward to the next few years with great anticipation.

I honestly don’t know how people can function in our quickly-changing, ever-more-technical world, if they aren’t constantly reading, learning, and re-learning, and adapting the successes of the past in order to find the successes of the future.

Technology has changed a lot. People have changed some, too, but not as much as some people think.

I like money in the bank. It doesn’t drive me the way it does some people, but I like having it available. It increases the options of what I can do.

But, more than money, I intend to be a better, more knowledgeable, more skillful, and more motivated person a year from now.

And even more so a year after that.

As soon as I post this to my blog, I have books and newsletters to study and a big mind map to update as I continue to develop my plans.

The best thing I ever did was to invest in myself. The written word, in books, newsletters, magazines, websites, white papers, reports, and other forms have been doorways to a better life. I am currently reading a half-dozen books and have 11 in the pile next to me that I’ve never read — yet. But, I will. That ought to keep me busy until January.

If you’ve waded through this and you’re still with me, I truly hope you find a way to earn a living from doing something you passionately enjoy. It’s one of the best feelings I’ve ever felt. Not the best, but close to it. (Being loved by someone that I love is a much better feeling, in case you’re wondering.)

At this point, I may be talking only to myself, but if you’re still here, thank you for reading.

Now, I’m going to proof-read this, make any necessary corrections, post it, and then turn my full attention to reading the current Glazer-Kennedy Insider’s Circle newsletter. I can’t wait to see what golden nugget of knowledge I’ll find in it.

If you’re not happy with your life, the power to change it lies within yourself. I’m not promising that it will be easy, but I know it’s possible. I’ve seen too many other people do it.

I’ve done it, myself.

Act on your dream!

PS. If you are an information junkie and are always buying “get rich quick” books and discs, but you never learn from them, stay away from the Glazer-Kennedy Insider’s Circle.

Yes, I’m a member and an affiliate for this and it’s a real gold mine of information for people who are willing to take things slowly, to learn, to study, and then to IMPLEMENT what they learn. If you have the discernment and self-discipline to buy something, learn from it, and put it to work, you will learn a lot by becoming a member. If I had to, I’d give up eating for a few days to keep this subscription active.

If you are the type of spend-thrift who just buys and buys and buys, yet never learns and does, you can spend a lot of money here. These folks are master marketers and you can learn as much from how they market to you as you can from their books, tapes, seminars, and newsletters which explain how they market to you and show how you can do that to find new customers and prospects for your business.

And, yes, I get paid a commission for everything you buy through my link.

So, you would think that I’d want everyone who sees this to join and buy a bunch of stuff, but I don’t.

You read that right. That is NOT what I want.

I’ve seen too many people who waste the opportunities that they find. They buy, buy, buy, but never really commit to selling. They don’t develop the mindset, the systems, the promotions, the offers, and the products that help you build your own business. Somehow, they think that just buying the book or disc will magically impart the wisdom of the ages upon them.

It won’t. Never has. Never will.

So, I don’t want to lead these kinds of people into this marketing system.

Why, because I know you’ll buy. You may buy a lot.

But, when you do nothing with it, you’re going to be angry with me for recommending it and you’re going to be angry with Dan Kennedy and Bill Glazer for spending decades learning what works, and then spending more decades recording it in a number of forms and selling it. And, I assure you, they know how to sell, and sell, and sell.

I don’t want the negative vibes and bad energy that so many unhappy people can create. I don’t need that in my life.

So, if I just described you, please don’t buy anything I recommend, and I’d rather you quit reading what I write.

I want to give my best advice and recommendations to people who are open to making their lives better and who are willing to invest time, energy, creativity, and money into improving themselves and learning new skills, and then polishing those skills by implementing and improving what you have learned.

If you are one of those kinds of people, you have come to the right place.

If you’re not, please leave. Go play with the other people who daydream but don’t invest and build.

Tags: books, Dan Kennedy, invest in yourself, Jim Rohn, Napoleon Hill, Zig Ziglar

What will happen to your business when you die?

October 30, 2011 by JD · 1 Comment
Filed under: Business, Dilbeck Marketing, Musings

Do you have an exit plan for your business? Are you working to build equity or profit?

I’ve been thinking about these issues and wonder about how others see it.

This morning, I was reading some of the recent posts on Seth Godin’s blog. I’ve been busy with planning and studying and I have not been reading it every day, as I usually do. Recently, he wrote Questions for a new entrepreneur and it fit in with what I was already thinking about, and that sparked the idea to write my own post and ask a question of you.

For myself, I’m building a business doing something I believe in — promoting top quality businesses and the people who own them, and encouraging people to support their local economies — and I think I’ll work on this the rest of my life.

Yet, if someone offered to buy it (once I get it all set up), I would decline. It’s not for sale.

So, what happens when I die? Does the business die, too? Or, do I find someone who can continue on with it? That’s a lot more difficult question for a business that deals with intangibles than it is for a brick and mortar retail business, for example.

Do I incorporate the business so that I can separate ownership and management? Could that provide for both profits to the owners and a reasonable succession plan for keeping the business going after I’m gone?

Who can I find who shares the same passions and would be willing to learn how to run the business and manage it?

I came close to dying last year. I feel like I’m living on borrowed time and I have been given a second opportunity to do what I feel is important.

I’m feeling better, today, than I have in years, and that makes this a great time to consider this issue. Death is close enough to be an advisor, but distant enough not to be a threat.

If I had died last year, the answer was simple: cancel the accounts and let the business die with me.

But, I feel like my new direction is more important, so it doesn’t feel like letting it die with me is the best answer — assuming I can build what I see in my imagination.

I don’t have any answers, but I continue to ask the question: What will happen to the business I am building when I reach a point where I can no longer do the work?

In my case, I’m looking more for a succession plan than an exit plan.

What will happen with your business when you reach the same point? Do you have a plan? Does anyone else know what that plan is and how to carry it out?

Tags: Business, equity, exit plan, profit, succession

I am living my dream!

September 28, 2011 by JD · Comments Off
Filed under: A Year From Now, Act On Your Dream, Dilbeck Marketing, Health, Murphy NC 28906, Musings, Site Build It

Good morning, Earthlings (and visitors to this quaint little planet)! It’s another gorgeous day in my little slice of paradise. This is why I moved to Murphy. It’s beautiful here.

Happy WoooooHooooo Wednesday! It’s just about an hour until you’re over the hump for the work week.

Lots to do today. To-do lists waiting to be decimated! Websites begging me to write new pages! And some people have the temerity to call this work!

If I were wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice, I would still do what I plan to do today. That’s how I know it’s the right thing for me.

Those of you who know me, know I’m not rich — in finances — but I’m wealthy beyond my dreams in terms of freedom, doing what I love, living where I love, having lots of great friends all around the world, and being part of a loving family.

After staring Death in the face just over a year ago, I have a new appreciation for life and living and enjoying the adventure — including the uncertainty, the high points, the low points, and the unexpected joys over the next hill and around the next curve in my path. I will never — ever — take another day for granted and just go through the motions.

I am grateful beyond my ability to express it that I am steadily recovering, that the neuropathy is fading in my fingers and I can once again type rapidly and accurately, that my thinking is getting clearer and faster, that my memory is working better, and that I have new plans I’m working to rebuild my business, earn my own way, and get off of disability. A year from now, if not sooner, I’ll be standing on my own two feet and making my own way in this beautiful world, once again.

And, when it happens and I’m earning a good living, again, I will never again gripe about writing the check to pay my taxes. (I will fuss and fume about the difficulty of filling out all those dang forms, but I won’t gripe about paying my fair share.)

Without Medicaid, I would be dead now. I’d love to earn enough to be able to pay back to the government all that I received in medical care, medicine, and food stamps. I’m not sure, but it’s about a half-million dollars. Paying that back is one of my top goals. I intend to do all I can to make it happen.

Make no mistake about it. Cancer and chemotherapy are difficult to endure, but it was worth everything I went through to make it out the other side and enjoy watching the sun rise through the trees on a morning like this. The ordeal was made much easier by the support and love I received from so many people.

If you’re going through a difficult time, hang in there. Don’t give up. Life is worth the struggle. Smile through the pain and laugh for the sheer joy of being alive. Fight with everything you can to overcome.

And, knowing that all of us eventually lose to the Grim Reaper, make your last day memorable by looking him right in the eye socket and laughing so loud that it’ll push the hood right off his skull as he drags you away from us!

In a couple of minutes, I’m going to get another cup of coffee and go to work. I can’t pay that money back if I don’t work to earn it, first.

I have a marketing business to rebuild and expand. There is so much to do and I intend to enjoy every single step of the process. This is going to be a fantabulous journey.

I am very happy that I ran across Dr. Ken Evoy back at the end of the 20th Century and learned how to build websites that sell. It changed my life — for the better. And not just mine, thousands of us are happy we found him. You can see that nearly 40,000 of us like Sitesell’s Facebook page, and I’ll be spending the rest of the day using the tools in SBI to work on my online marketing business.

(I still can’t believe that Sitesell provides all the tools I need and all the training and support to help me build my online business for only $30 a month, or just $300 per year. I spend more than that on coffee. And you know that $30? It’s not an expense, it’s an investment. I earn a profit every month, and now that I’m recovering from the last two years, I intend to earn a much larger profit from my work. Some days I have to pinch myself to believe I’m not dreaming. I’m acting on my dream — I’m living my dream.)

(But, don’t mind me. I’m just a geezer working at home and being grateful for my good fortune. After the last couple of years, I take time to think about all the people and things for which I’m grateful — every single morning and evening. Today, it just spilled out from my mind, through my fingers, and onto this page.)

All my friends who use SBI to build their online businesses know what I’m talking about. Don’t you? I’m grateful that Ken believes in helping as many people as he can and that he works so hard leading the team that continues to add new tools we can use to improve the quality of our businesses — without raising the price. Some days, I really do feel like I’m dreaming. It’s a wonderful thing to know you’re awake, loving life, and acting on your dream — all at the same time!

Here’s a link to Sitesell’s Facebook page so you can see for yourself, if you’re interested.

Thanks, Ken!

Now let’s go play Build My Business.

I love my life. I sure hope that you love yours!

It’s a wonderful day — Let’s go enjoy it!

Act on your dream!

Tags: Business, gratitude, health, joy of living, Ken Evoy, life, SBI

The power of gratitude

August 24, 2011 by JD · 3 Comments
Filed under: Inspirational, Musings, YouTube

About three weeks ago, I asked, “How do you start your day?”

I wrote about how I spend some time every morning, before I get out of bed, being grateful for the people, things, and circumstances in my life that have helped make me who I am today. This morning ritual has helped me truly appreciate the abundance in my life.

Today, my friend Michael S. Logan shared the following video on his Facebook profile. (Thanks, Michael!)

I wanted to share it with you, too, so here it is…

I’ve had a couple of people ask me how to feel grateful for the bad things that happen to us, and I don’t have an answer that satisfies everyone. For me, the bad things that I have endured have helped me find qualities and capabilities in me that I wasn’t aware of before the bad times. I find that to be something for which I’m grateful.

Some people “poo poo” this whole idea, and that’s okay. We have the freedom to approach life and living in ways that work for each of us, individually, and those approaches can be very different.

Being grateful works for me.

Thanks for taking the time to watch the video. I hope you find something of value in it for you.

All the best,

Tags: gratefulness, gratitude

How do you start your day?

August 5, 2011 by JD · 2 Comments
Filed under: Music, Musings, Self-Improvement

For most of my life, I was a night owl. I’d stay up until 2:00 or later reading or watching TV or doing something creative. Anything but sleeping!

No matter how tired I was in the evening, sometime around 11:00 PM or so, I’d “get my second wind” and then I’d be wide awake for the next few hours. It was always when I was the most creative. People were asleep, the house was quiet, and I could really concentrate on what I wanted to do.

I remember decades of dragging myself out of bed, rushing through breakfast, and fighting traffic to get to work. I was always running late. In fact, when I was teaching college computer courses, I abhored morning classes. When I had my choice, I didn’t schedule a class before 10:00 in the morning, and tried to persuade the powers that be that all computer classes should be taught from midnight until 4:00 AM, because that’s when the best programmers were wide awake. One of my students, who was taking one of the rare early morning classes I taught, started referring to me, even to my face, as “the late Mr. Dilbeck.”

I hated the start of those days. It didn’t matter if I were teaching, programming, or working at a job. I hated early morning and I was always tired. That’s one of the reasons I registered need-sleep.com as my first domain.

So, eventually I changed it. Now, every day is a joyful adventure.

Now, when I get sleepy (afternoon, evening, night), I go to sleep. Sometimes I sleep for an hour or two, sometimes all night. Unless I have an appointment, I never set an alarm. I wake up when I’m rested. Most days, that’s between 4:00 and 5:00 in the (not quite) morning.

Two things helped me change. I got rid of my TV. I no longer feel the need to watch the news and then the Tonight Show, and whatever comes after it. I also threw away my alarm clock. Now I sleep on my own schedule. If I have an important appointment, I set my iPod to alarm two hours before when I have to be there.

Now, most days — almost all of them — I wake up and lie in bed while I think of at least five things (usually more) for which I am grateful. It can be people, things, activities, circumstances, or whatever comes to mind. I take a few minutes and really think about them, picture them in my mind, and immerse myself in being grateful that they are a part of my life.

One person in particular is always the first on my “gratitude list” and then other things just seem to pop into my consciousness. Several of my friends jump onto that list every morning. Often, music is in that list. There are many others that take their place now and then.

So, I lie there and appreciate each of them, in turn.

I find that an “attitude of gratitude” is a much better way to start the day than being tired, rushed, and late.

I almost always wake up several hours before I have to be somewhere or do something, so that gives me time to do what I want.

When I get out of bed, I fire up my computer, launch iTunes, and crank up the music. I dance (still not very well) around the kitchen while I’m making coffee and breakfast, and sing along with the songs.

Those two activities help me start every day on a positive note and help me build my energy so that I feel great when I sit down at the computer and start working.

Of course, I don’t have to face a morning commute or everything that is involved in waking other people up and getting everyone off to where they need to be. I live alone and work at home. Without a doubt, that makes my life much less stressful than it once was.

While I recognize this morning routine won’t work for everyone, it works very well for me.

I’m not trying to persuade you to adopt my habits, I’m just sharing with you.

So, how do you start your day?

Are you satisfied with it — or not?

Why?

Act on your dream!

Tags: gratitude, morning, music, sleep, work

Overcoming obstacles and living our dreams

July 31, 2011 by JD · 2 Comments
Filed under: A Year From Now, Act On Your Dream, Music, Musings, Personal, Self-Improvement, Success and Failure, TED Talks

What is your dream? What are you doing to live it?

It’s a lot easier to think about something we want to do and to imagine doing it than it is to take all the steps to plan how to achieve it and then acting on our dream to make it real.

You already know that, don’t you?

Even when we really want to do something and we have a plan for getting there and we’re taking the proper steps to reach the goal, sometimes we are faced with major obstacles to reaching our dream.

I love music.

I love listening to music and I love playing music. I’ve played guitar for over 40 years and banjo for over 35. I love playing music.

All my life, I’ve wanted to play piano, but I never made it a priority.

I’ve wanted to read music fluently, but I’ve never made it a priority.

If I study a piece of music, I can work out the notes, but it’s a very slow process. I can’t look at it and immediately play it and I can’t look at it and hear the music in my head. I would like to do that.

But, it’s never been a priority. I’ve never made the time for it and put in the work that is required to master it.

Last year, when I realized that the cancer wasn’t going to kill me, and I wasn’t able to work, I spent a lot of time and effort working to learn how to read music and studying music theory. I made some progress.

As I got stronger and my thinking started clearing up, I started moving back into working and music wasn’t as important.

Then, a few months ago, I woke up one morning and couldn’t move my right hand. Not a bit. I thought I’d slept on it wrong and it would be okay if I got up and did my normal activities. Slowly, over time, it’s gotten a lot better. I’ve exercised and stretched it every day, several times each day. Over time, I got to where I could use all my fingers, except for my index finger.

Today, I realized I was typing faster and more accurately than I have since I hurt my hand. So, on a whim, I got out my banjo, put on my fingerpicks, and tried to play a song.

I had to hold my hand a little differently from how I had over the last few decades, and I had to adjust the pick on my index finger, but I found I could hit the right strings.

So, I started playing a song, slowly, as slowly as I did when I was first learning all those years ago.

You know what? I could play my banjo, again.

It wasn’t beautiful music, but it was recognizable and better than I have played in awhile.

It felt wonderful and now I’m inspired to make music a priority, again. Maybe not my number one priority, but pretty close to the top of the list.

So, now, it’s time to get back to learning how to read music and play piano. I will learn music theory and become a proper musician, and I know that will help in playing guitar, banjo, and fiddle, too.

I found a great site to help me learn to read music and play piano: Learn Piano Online at the key-notes Virtual Piano Studio by Albert Frantz.

He is an accomplished classical pianist and I assumed he had learned to play piano as a child, but I learned that isn’t true. He didn’t start learning until he was 17, and that’s considered impossible for anyone who wants to become a classical musician. Most of them start when they’re two or three years old.

He faced other obstacles that slowed down learning to play piano. Among other things, he had his fingers caught in a car door, and later, he broke his left wrist. But, he didn’t let that stop him. He persevered and approached the task from different directions.

Here’s a TEDtalk where he goes into his background and the obstacles he had to overcome to live his dream. I find it fascinating. Maybe you will, too…

This inspires me even more to pursue my goals of learning to read music fluently and to play the piano well.

I’ll never be a concert pianist, because that isn’t something I want to do, but I look forward to playing a variety of songs for my own enjoyment and for sharing with my friends.

I know that you’re facing obstacles as you try to live your dreams, too. We all do.

I truly believe that with dedication and creativity, we can find a path that will lead us to achieving the goals we set for ourselves.

Not every goal is achievable. I’ll never be the fastest runner or compete in pole vaulting or ride the winning horse at the Kentucky Derby. There are many things that are impossible for us, and I don’t care if people disagree with that statement.

But, there are many, many dreams that are not only possible, but perhaps easier to achieve than we may think.

No matter how much you believe you can do something, it may be impossible to achieve, but you never know until you try. But, you have to be realistic, too. The universe will not grant you anything you want just because you want it. You have to work for it. And even if you work for it, some things are still impossible. An easy example? I’m a man. It’s impossible for me to give birth to a child. So, I don’t waste any time wanting to do it or trying to do it. That’s just totally unrealistic. If I were a woman, however, it might be a feasible goal.

On the other hand, I can state categorically with no doubt that you will never achieve your goals if you believe you can’t and don’t even try.

As Albert Frantz points out in this video, one man may dream about being the fastest man on the planet, while another dreams about being able to walk. For the right people, with the right skills and abilities, either dream may be a major achievement.

People face obstacles every day. Sometimes we see them approaching and sometimes they take us totally by surprise. But, we all face obstacles that we must overcome, burst through, go around, tunnel under, or climb over in order to continue on our chosen path to living our dream.

Do you have a dream? Don’t let it go. Work to make it real.

Act on your dream!

Tags: achieve, Albert Frantz, dream, fail, music, musician, obstacles, play piano, read music

Family or work – which is most important to you?

June 26, 2011 by JD · 3 Comments
Filed under: Events, Family, Musings, Success and Failure

There are two things you should know about me, if you have any hope at all in trying to understand me.

1. I love my work.
2. I love my family.

I love my work

For the great majority of my life, those two things were most important to me.

Instead of “I love my work,” you could just as well say, “I love telling computers what to do.”

I’ve spent most of my adult life learning all I can about computers and I think I’ve done fairly well, if I do say so. Since I am less concerned with stuff, and more interested in accomplishment, I’ve plowed a great deal of my earnings right back into more computers (Macs, of course), software, and books, and used it to learn even more about the topics that most interested me.

But, you know what?

Looking back over the last 30 years, I have a handful of photos showing me working. In most of them, I’m so involved in what I was doing that I was oblivious to someone taking the picture.

I have one photo showing me standing in front of a white board and lecturing to a class.

I have one photo showing my co-author and me at a little party celebrating the publication of our book.

I have memories of being frustrated when something wouldn’t work — and then spending hours, days, or weeks working on it until I solved it. I rarely quit working on a problem before solving it. Now and then, but not often.

During all those years, I worked most of the time, and spent the remainder with my family.

I love my family

If you had asked me at the time if I loved my family, I would have said, “Yes!”

With no hesitation or doubt.

But, looking back, I would have been wrong.

Family definitely came second. Looking back over the years, it’s hard for me to believe and accept, but it’s the truth.

My life-and-death struggle with cancer the last couple of years forced me to look intensely at myself and to question everything I believed about my life.

I was as close to being on my death bed as I want to get for a long time, and what I was observing wasn’t pleasant.

I was a selfish loner

I was a loner who was selfishly focused on doing what I wanted to do and that was more important than anything else.

That started to change a few years ago, when I brought Mom home from a hospital following her battle with cancer and became her sole caretaker. I gave up a lot of things I enjoyed doing and focused primarily on caring for her.

That came with its own problems, however, because I wasn’t free to get out and see friends and other family members, and I grew more isolated and less connected with all the other people who were important to me.

Then, after Mom died, I fought my own battle with cancer.

Cancer sucks! Let’s kick cancer’s butt!

When I got too weak to get out of bed, I had to face a decision. Would I go to the hospital and seek medical help — even though I had no money and no insurance — or would I let the cancer beat me and die in my bed?

More afraid of debt than death

I went through bankruptcy and divorce about 20 years ago and both were traumatic. I’m not sure that I’ve completely recovered from either of them, but I’m better than I was for a few years afterward.

Since then, I have been completely debt free and don’t even have a single credit card. No loans. No debt.

The thought of going hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt scared me much more than the thought of dying. The thought that I’d never be able to work my way out of that hole scared me even more.

My family decides for me

But, I reached a point when I was too weak to make the decision and Stacey and Dakota (my son-in-law and grandson) grabbed me by both arms, pulled me out of bed, more-or-less carried me to their car, and they and Dena took me to the hospital.

I barely remember it, but I do remember a strange mixture of happiness that they cared enough to help, fear of going into debt, and shame that I wasn’t strong enough to decide for myself what I wanted to do.

No fear of death

I don’t remember any fear of death or dying. I recognized that it was a strong possibility — perhaps a probability — but that just didn’t matter.

I’ve never been afraid of death. I’ve read hundreds of books related to religion and philosophy and decided a long time ago that nobody knows what they’re talking about when it comes to death and what may — or may not — lie in wait, afterward.

So, I quit thinking about it. I know that one of these days I’ll make that transition and then, perhaps, I’ll know what lies beyond, if anything.

I’m not going to go into the long story of my diagnosis, treatments, surgeries, and so forth. They were important at the time, but not so important now. They kept me on this side of the crematorium and I’m happy about that.

Diagnosis: Colon cancer

When I got the diagnosis of late-stage colon cancer, I could tell by the reaction of my friend and surgeon that it was very serious and my probability of survival was very low.

He was honest with me about the situation and what he thought should be done.

When I asked what my prognosis was, he didn’t answer. That was an answer, in itself.

So, why am I talking about all this, today?

Hold on to your horses, pardner. I’m getting to it.

Dena and I went back to her house after learning the diagnosis. I’m sure we talked on the way back, but I don’t remember it.

In fact, I was so weak that I don’t remember very much from last year — just bits and pieces here and there.

What do I remember? Getting high-speed broadband to connect to the Internet, instead of slow dial-up, and the fun of watching videos and movies on my computer. A Memorial Day cookout. A day in a boat on the lake. A bonfire birthday party with Courtnie. A wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends. A beautiful white Christmas. Lots of laughing. Lots of smiles. Being determined to kick cancer’s butt. Wanting to live long enough to spend more time with my friends and family. Wanting to do things, but being too tired, weak, or sick to do them. Being frustrated. Enjoying the support I received from my friends and family — largely through the help of Facebook.

About fear…

I don’t remember much fear. I was afraid that I’d never pay off my medical debts. I was afraid that my voice would never recover from the chemo so that I could sing loud and clear, again. I was afraid that I would not be around to hug my friends.

I continued to be afraid of small pretty women, but that’s nothing new. I believe that it is wrong to give in to fear and we should strive to recognize and overcome fear in its many manifestations. My fear of small pretty women continues and I am willing to wrestle with this fear, whenever the opportunity arises. (wink)

I was never afraid of death. I was never afraid that cancer would win the battle.

Re-evaluating my priorities and making preparations

You see, when Dena and I went home after getting the diagnosis, I spent some time to myself. Perhaps a day or two, I don’t remember for sure.

I thought about what was important to me. I took care of some important things: a new will, a living will, a power of attorney, prepaid cremation, bought a travel trailer to live in (named it Castle Dragon), and put the castle and the car in both my and Dena’s names.

(I could never have done any of those things by myself and I appreciate each of the people who helped me prepare and get settled in for the long fight. You know who you are. Thank you.)

If I were going to die, I didn’t want to make it any harder than it had to be on anyone else. I had just gone through over a year of settling Mom’s estate and learned some lessons from that experience.

With preparations for dying out of the way, I started thinking about living.

(I’m not sure if the timeline is right. I don’t remember if I thought about living and prepared for dying, or vice versa.)

I clearly remember a discussion with Dena about whether I was going to go through the surgeries and treatments recommended by my surgeon, or if I were too far gone and would rather die in peace.

The moment of decision – clarity, focus, and intention

It was while looking into her face and getting lost, once again, in her beautiful blue eyes that I made my decision. I remember the exact moment.

I would go through all of it, knowing it would be difficult, painful, and scary, because I was not ready to tell her goodbye.

(I never once cried when I thought I might die, but I have tears in my eyes, right now.)

I wanted to live and be a better dad.

I wanted to spend more time with Dena and Stacey. I wanted to watch my grandkids grow and develop into adults and maybe have kids of their own.

I wanted to sing and laugh with my friends. I wanted to go skinny dipping in the lake. I wanted to hug beautiful women. I wanted to flirt with pretty nurses. I wanted to play music and sing. I wanted to dance for the sheer joy of being alive.

I decided right then and there that I intended to kick cancer’s butt

I would live and do lots of things that were very important to me.

They all revolved around family and friends.

Work wasn’t even part of the thought process. It had faded into no importance at all.

Realistically, I knew then (and now) that I have to work to earn money to live, but it lost most of its importance to me.

At that moment, if I were to write a list of things that are important to me, it would be a longer list than the one I wrote at the top of this message/post/article/document/diatribe/or whatever it is.

My new list of priorities

While not necessarily in the correct order by importance, it would go something like this:

1. Dena
2. Stacey
3. Courtnie, Dakota and Katie.
4. All my closest friends and family
5. My online friends
6. Singing, laughing, dancing, enjoying thunderboomers, skinny dipping, sharing massages, and more laughing.
7. Other things I can’t think of right now
8. Work
9. Paying bills
10. Everything else…

That may not be exactly the right order (and there may, in fact, be no correct order), because things change all the time. Some things are more important now, less important later, and maybe more important even later.

The one thing I am crystal clear on, however, is that numbers 1-6 are the most important to me.

That’s where I intend to live most of the time. It’s what I intend to do, observe, enjoy, celebrate, and care about.

I still enjoy working, but I have a lot more photographs of family and friends than I do of working. I have lots more wonderful memories of friends than I do of solving a problem, creating an elegant algorithm, or implementing a new system.

Thankfully, I’m no longer on my death bed. I’ve finished all the treatments. I’m getting stronger.

Cats have nine lives. I wonder how many I have

If I were a cat, I think I used up a couple of my lives last year, and I’m going to be very careful about what I do with the lives that still remain. I don’t know how many there are. I’m pretty sure I used a couple of them on the edge of the Grand Canyon and another of them during the early morning hours in downtown Atlanta. I may have used one while driving in Chattanooga, and another one when an 18-wheeler came around a blind curve and was almost totally in my lane. I’m pretty sure that I’ve used seven or eight of my allotted lives. If cats and JD have nine lives, I may have only one or two left.

I’m going to use them to celebrate my family and friends and to enjoy every minute I can spend with them.

During the rest of the time, I’m going to pour myself into working to do the best I can for my clients, but I have to tell them this: You definitely are not first in my life. I’ll do what I promise, but some of it may take a bit longer, because I’m going to enjoy any lives I still have.

People are most important

Now, let me share a couple of glimpses of the people who are important in my life:

Dena and Stacey Howard and family, 2011.

We enjoyed spending a couple of hours with a wonderful group of people at the reunion.

This week, I’ve been working hard to update websites, plan some strategies for promoting local businesses, learning new skills, and trying to get back to earning a living and paying my own way through the world.

A few years ago, I would not have interrupted my work. I was “in the flow” and really accomplishing something.

But, this is a different life, one that is much better aligned with the things and people that are important to me.

Two days ago, on Friday, I was working hard and the alarm on my iPod went off. I stopped what I was doing and went to enjoy and celebrate something much more important.

Dena and Stacey were married twenty years ago. To celebrate, they decided to throw a big shindig and renew their marriage vows. 20 years ago, they were hitched. So, I’m saying that this year, they tightened the hitch. Not that it needed tightening. I hope they have a lifetime of happiness together.

Dena and Stacey Howard, renewing their wedding vows.

I am a better person

Over the years, I may not have been the best friend, husband, or dad, but I’ve recognized the error of my ways and I’m going to do my best to enjoy and celebrate your accomplishments and victories, do what I can to help you in your struggles, and hug more often.

JD and Dena

I will say something (much more often) that has always been very hard for me to say…

I love you.

What about you?

I’m not saying that my way is the only way or even the best way. It’s right for me, but you may have other thoughts, goals, and priorities.

So, which is most important to you?

Is there something besides family and work that is important?

Act on your dream!

Tags: cancer, Dena Howard, Family, important, intention, Stacey Howard, work

Malware coming to a Mac near you?

May 9, 2011 by JD · 3 Comments
Filed under: Macintosh Computers, Musings

I haven’t run any virus or malware protection software on my Macs in years and I’ve been getting along just fine.

However, there are a couple of new developments that may change things in the near(?) future.

1. Macs are gaining share on the Internet. This means that they may become a viable target for crooks who use malware for financial gain.

2. Those same crooks now have access to malware toolkits that can target Mac vulnerabilities as easily as Windows.

One of the myths surrounding Macs is that they are immune to viruses and that just isn’t true.

Here’s an article I read on ZDNet this morning:

Why malware for Macs is on its way

This is a good overview of the situation and the changes that are developing.

I don’t believe it’s a serious threat, yet, but viruses and other forms of malware can make our lives more difficult, as any of our friends who use Windows will attest.

I haven’t owned a Windows computer since the 20th century, and I think the last version I used was Windows 3.1. That’s been a long time. Even then, however, I had full virus protection running on it.

I think we Mac users have been lulled into a false sense of security because of the lack of Mac viruses. However, after reading the article this morning, I decided the time had come to install a first line of defense. I don’t think I need full-time security software, yet, but I did decide to buy and run a malware scan application.

Pay particular attention to pages 3 and 4 of the article linked to, above. I agree with the author that the first do it yourself malware kit for OS X is a big deal.

I don’t see any need to over-react and start screaming that the sky is falling, however.

At this point, the risk of malware on the Mac is low, but it’s rising.

So, I went to the Mac App Store and bought VirusBarrier Plus. There’s a free version, but I paid the $8 for the version that also scans for Windows malware.

Once installed, I downloaded the latest malware definitions update and ran a full scan of my main working computer.

To my surprise, it found 18 files that were infected. Those files were .exe and .pdf files and the malware only affected Windows systems, but, still, I repaired them. No point in taking the chance that I’d pass something along to my Windows-using friends.

If the threat becomes more serious. Or, should I say, when the threat becomes more serious, I’ll update to software that scans full-time, but I don’t think that’s necessary, yet.

I have my app set to scan my computer every week. If the incidence of infection rises significantly, it’ll be time to take more action.

What do you think? Do you use Mac or Windows? What type of malware defense are you using?

Tags: malware, security, virus