John Dilbeck And Friends

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 41. What criteria do you use to determine who is helpful to you and who is harmful?

I’m not exactly sure where to begin to answer this question.

On a basic level, harmful people are non-supportive, negative, usually destructive, non-tolerant, and block your efforts at improving your life. Much of the time, they tend to view the world in terms of black and white, right and wrong, or other binary systems that don’t let them enjoy a larger view of life. Either you agree with their world view (you’re with them) or you don’t (in which case you’re against them).

Other harmful people may actually want to damage you, your reputation, your safety, and your finances.

There is a huge range of people who may be harmful. I think most of us has a basic understanding of this, but I suspect that few have actually stopped to think about the question and to determine criteria to help you decide who they are.

There are some people, and I’ve had to deal with a few of these in the past, who are bright, cheerful and supportive on the surface, but have a much more negative attitude and agenda underneath that only comes out over time. I’m still not good at spotting these people, but I’m better than I used to be at doing it.

Then there is the “two faced” crowd. These people are friendly and supportive to your face, but they’ll stab you in the back and cause chaos for you when you’re not around. As soon as I identify one of these people, I prune them from my life.

I’m sure there are other harmful people that I haven’t identified. Do you have any thoughts on this?

As far as determining who is helpful to me, that’s a different question and — at least for me — is more difficult to answer.

Someone once told me that I was doing okay if a third of the people who knew me liked me, a third disliked me, and the final third didn’t really care much one way or the other.

I’m not sure if those percentages are accurate and I think they vary for different people.

In my case, I think I’m doing pretty well if 25% like me, 25% dislike me, and the other half don’t really care.

I’d worry and make changes if the number who disliked me was larger than either of the other two groups.

Now, as far as determining who is helpful, let’s think for a moment.

hmmmm.

Obviously, friends who are supportive and care for you are helpful. Customers who buy from you are helpful (but I don’t think of them as the same as supportive friends, although they can be in both categories). People who tell others about you and why they like you are helpful.

I don’t really have a set of criteria for helpful people that matches my harmful people criteria. I wonder why.

I expect helpful people to be honest, supportive, friendly, tolerant, positive, and to have other similar character attributes.

Other than these thoughts, I don’t really have a fixed criteria for determining who is helpful or harmful to me.

One thing I have come to rely upon, however, is a basic gut feeling when I’m around someone for any length of time. If my gut starts churning or feeling bad, then it makes my brain take notice in a way that it never did when I was younger.

What about you?

What criteria do you use to determine who is helpful to you and who is harmful?

Act on your dream!

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 40. Is it possible that some close friend or associate has a negative influence on your mind?

I’ve been thinking about this question for a few days before attempting an answer.

Currently, I don’t think that it is possible that any friends or associates can have a negative influence on my mind.

Just about all of the people I know are either neutral or positive influences, and I like it that way.

In the past, when I was much younger and much less selective in the people with whom I chose to associate, the answer would have been yes.

Over the decades, however, I’ve learned how to be more selective and I’m happy to say that I’m pleased with my friends and associates. They’re a great bunch of people and are supportive of each other, even when we have differing beliefs and opinions regarding things like politics, religion, and other issues that can be hot buttons for some people.

I’m happy to be part of such a tolerant and supportive group.

What about you?

Is it possible that some close friend or associate has a negative influence on your mind?

Act on your dream!

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 39. Do you see any connection between your friends and some unhappiness in your life?

Finally, an easy question to answer succinctly.

No, I don’t.

In the past, I may have been able to say yes, but not now. I’m proud of my friends and happy with them.

What about you?

Do you see any connection between your friends and some unhappiness in your life?

All the best,

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 38. If you believe that “birds of a feather flock together,” what do you know about your friends?

I don’t know if it’s a matter of belief or just simple observation, but I’m sure that birds of a feather tend to flock together and this applies to most people I know.

Not only do we do that, we want to flock together, so we look for more who are like us so we can associate with them.

Some of my best friends had feathers of a different kind than I. We had different backgrounds, different wealth levels, different cultures. I could learn from them and they from me.

When we tend to stick only with our own flock, about all we can do is nod our heads in agreement most of the time and that leads to stagnation.

That said, I do think that most of my friends are pretty similar to me.

In general, it means that 2009 has been a rough year and we’re hoping that 2010 will bring an upswing in the cycle. More than that, though, we’re not just hoping, we’re looking for ways to help that happen. We’re being innovative and trying things we might not be doing if circumstances were better.

I believe that we grow more during hard times than we can during easy times. We have an incentive to do so.

When I think about my friends, I see an optimistic bunch of creative people who are doing what they can to improve their lives and cope with the difficulties. I think there are a lot of people like that out there and not all of them are in our flock.

On the other hand, some of my friends and I have very different viewpoints when it comes to religion, politics, and other “hot-button” issues.

What do we do about that? Mostly we recognize the fact, accept it, and respect the others’ rights to hold different thoughts, opinions, and beliefs than we do. We’re a tolerant flock. We look for the things that make us stronger and better friends and not for something to divide us. I like that about my friends.

So, that’s all I have to say on this subject, for whatever it is worth.

What about you?

If you believe that “birds of a feather flock together,” what do you know about your friends?

All the best,

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 37. Do you have spiritual forces powerful enough to keep you free from fear?

Now, this is one that I really have trouble answering.

I just don’t ever feel much fear and I can count on the fingers of one hand all the times (as an adult) that I’ve actually been afraid.

In none of those instances did I feel that I needed spiritual forces to protect me.

So, I guess the simple answer to this question is no.

What about you?

Do you have spiritual forces powerful enough to keep you free from fear?

All the best,

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 36. Does your job inspire you?

This is hard to answer, because I don’t have a job.

I have a lifestyle.

So, indulge me for a moment as I rephrase the question to, “Does my lifestyle inspire me?”

Most of the time, it does.

I enjoy what I do. I enjoy marketing and promoting things for other people. I enjoy promoting other people.

Sometimes, I even enjoy looking into myself and writing about it, as I have in this series of questions.

A long time ago, I had jobs I did not particularly like. Some were hard, others involved having to work with unlikable and unreliable people. I took steps to leave those jobs and find others that were better fitted to me and the lifestyle I wanted.

Some of the most inspiring jobs were the hardest, so I wasn’t just trying to find an easy way to live. I wanted to do something that mattered and helped others, and not just find an easy way to a big paycheck.

Now that I’m self-employed and haven’t had a job for awhile, I still try to find things that help others achieve what they want and I find that to be much more inspiring than most jobs I’ve ever had.

From a practical viewpoint, I have to increase the amount of income over what it has been this year, but I believe that the money follows when you’re doing something worthwhile. It may take some time and it may be a challenge - especially at first - but I believe the money will come.

If I had to make a decision between a big paycheck for doing something I disliked versus less income for doing something I love, I’d pick the latter one every time.

It’s been nearly 20 years since I had a job that did not inspire me, and I like it that way.

What about you?

Does your job inspire you?

All the best,

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 35. Do you form your own opinions or do you let yourself be influenced by others?

I definitely form my own opinions.

While I try to learn from others and value a range of different opinions from a variety of people, I form my own opinions and make my own decisions.

This annoys some people who know me. Some of them would rather that I’d just “join the crowd.” I’m just not like that.

When I was growing up, one of the anthems was “question authority,” and I’ve always done that.

I took it a step further and entered the realm of the philosophers when I decided to “question reality.”

I don’t take anything on its face value, no matter what authority it calls upon.

Sometimes it makes life more difficult, but it also means that I’m carving out my own slice of the pie and living my life on my own terms - for good or bad.

I will listen to others’ opinions and respect them for what they are - their opinions.

Whether I agree with them or not, is an entirely different matter.

When I was younger, I would stay up late at night and debate issues that nobody has ever solved or agreed upon. It was a valuable exercise in debate and logic - and, now and then, tempers would flare for awhile.

These days, I tend to debate with myself rather than others, but I still look at many sides of the issues I consider before making a decision.

Even when I do decide upon an opinion, it is still open for debate and reconsideration at a later date, if I get more facts to consider or encounter differing opinions of which I was previously unaware. It can make life interesting and dynamic, instead of being stuck in the ruts that others have carved and want us to travel within.

I’m not conceited enough to think that I’m always right, but I try to do the best I can.

What about you?

Do you form your own opinions or do you let yourself be influenced by others?

All the best,

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 34. What habits in others annoy you the most?

I think the habit that annoys me most is when someone says that they’ll do something and then they never follow-up and do it.

I’d much rather someone told me no and stuck to it rather than telling me yes or maybe and then never doing whatever it is.

That really gets under my skin.

Another thing that bothers me is when people have an opinion about something, even though they have no experience with it.

Where does this come from?

What may bother me the most, however, may be people who are “smart asses” and cynics. Yes, I know these are two different things, but they’re related.

No matter how serious the conversation or circumstance, the smart ass has a way of deflecting everything without resolving anything. It’s easy, but what does it accomplish?

Sometimes it can lighten the mood if it’s humorous, but frequently, probably most of the time, it’s not funny, it’s just distracting and bothersome.

Cynics have convinced themselves that everything is a lie and nothing works as described - among other traits that they develop.

Frequently, a cynic will believe that he is a skeptic. There is a big difference.

Someone who is skeptical will generally not believe what they read or hear, but they usually have enough of an open mind to look into it a bit more before making their final decision.

Cynics, however, make their final decision based on something other than facts and experience and that bothers me.

I can deal with a skeptic, but I do my best to avoid cynics.

The final habit that really annoys me is the habit of lying.

This is related to the first one I mentioned, but I don’t think the people in that first group are actually meaning to lie. They just don’t follow-up. They get busy and distracted and go in another direction.

Liars, however, are never to be trusted. When I realize that someone is an habitual liar, I move them out of my life as quickly as possible. Who needs that?

What about you?

What habits in others annoy you the most?

All the best,

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 33. Does your presence have a negative influence on others?

I was tempted to just say “No” and move on to the next question.

I try not to be a negative influence on others, but this may not be true for part of this year.

When I was very sick earlier this year, I’m sure it worried my family and friends, but I don’t think that qualifies as being a negative influence. Do you?

When my affiliate marketing business took a dive this year, I lost my direction for that part of my business and I’m still looking for a viable new approach that will rebuild it to where it was previously - and grow much higher in the future.

During the last few months, I was rather negative about some things related to my business, but I still don’t think that makes me a negative influence. Perhaps it does for people reading my affiliate marketing blog. I don’t know.

Do you think I’ve been a negative influence?

I try to be a positive influence and do my best to help others achieve their dreams. In fact, that’s the entire focus of my Act On Your Dream! website, which gets many more viewers and page views every month than my blogs do.

What about you?

Does your presence have a negative influence on others?

All the best,

JD

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 32. Do you encourage others to bring their troubles to you for sympathy?

No, in general, I do not.

For my family and close friends, I always try to be available to listen when they have problems or other trouble. I’m a good listener.

But, like many men, I try to find a solution to the problem, rather than just give sympathy or even empathy.

Once it gets out of my very small circle of family and close friends, however, I’m not as easy to approach. At least, I don’t think I am.

I have to wonder about that a bit, as I think of all the blogging and social networking that I do. Perhaps I’m a bit easier to approach than I originally thought. In fact, I’m much easier to approach online than I am offline.

I hadn’t really thought much about that until just now.

The problem arises, however, when the same person keeps coming back to me with the same trouble. Over time, I tend to lose any empathy I have unless they are seriously trying to find a way to solve the situation.

Some situations aren’t solvable.

Many are.

I’m going to have to think about this question some more.

What about you?

Do you encourage others to bring their troubles to you for sympathy?

All the best,

JD