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Think and Grow Rich test: How do you determine who is helpful and who is harmful?

January 18, 2010 by JD
Filed under: Books, Self-Improvement, Success and Failure 

My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test

Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.

There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.

I’ve started the series of posts with:

Think and Grow Rich self-assessment test

Question Number 41. What criteria do you use to determine who is helpful to you and who is harmful?

I’m not exactly sure where to begin to answer this question.

On a basic level, harmful people are non-supportive, negative, usually destructive, non-tolerant, and block your efforts at improving your life. Much of the time, they tend to view the world in terms of black and white, right and wrong, or other binary systems that don’t let them enjoy a larger view of life. Either you agree with their world view (you’re with them) or you don’t (in which case you’re against them).

Other harmful people may actually want to damage you, your reputation, your safety, and your finances.

There is a huge range of people who may be harmful. I think most of us has a basic understanding of this, but I suspect that few have actually stopped to think about the question and to determine criteria to help you decide who they are.

There are some people, and I’ve had to deal with a few of these in the past, who are bright, cheerful and supportive on the surface, but have a much more negative attitude and agenda underneath that only comes out over time. I’m still not good at spotting these people, but I’m better than I used to be at doing it.

Then there is the “two faced” crowd. These people are friendly and supportive to your face, but they’ll stab you in the back and cause chaos for you when you’re not around. As soon as I identify one of these people, I prune them from my life.

I’m sure there are other harmful people that I haven’t identified. Do you have any thoughts on this?

As far as determining who is helpful to me, that’s a different question and — at least for me — is more difficult to answer.

Someone once told me that I was doing okay if a third of the people who knew me liked me, a third disliked me, and the final third didn’t really care much one way or the other.

I’m not sure if those percentages are accurate and I think they vary for different people.

In my case, I think I’m doing pretty well if 25% like me, 25% dislike me, and the other half don’t really care.

I’d worry and make changes if the number who disliked me was larger than either of the other two groups.

Now, as far as determining who is helpful, let’s think for a moment.

hmmmm.

Obviously, friends who are supportive and care for you are helpful. Customers who buy from you are helpful (but I don’t think of them as the same as supportive friends, although they can be in both categories). People who tell others about you and why they like you are helpful.

I don’t really have a set of criteria for helpful people that matches my harmful people criteria. I wonder why.

I expect helpful people to be honest, supportive, friendly, tolerant, positive, and to have other similar character attributes.

Other than these thoughts, I don’t really have a fixed criteria for determining who is helpful or harmful to me.

One thing I have come to rely upon, however, is a basic gut feeling when I’m around someone for any length of time. If my gut starts churning or feeling bad, then it makes my brain take notice in a way that it never did when I was younger.

What about you?

What criteria do you use to determine who is helpful to you and who is harmful?

Act on your dream!

JD

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2 Comments on Think and Grow Rich test: How do you determine who is helpful and who is harmful?

  1. Mitch on Mon, 18th Jan 2010 10:42 pm

    2. John,

    As strange as a statement like this might look, I rely on the ol’ Spidey senses to tell me who I can and can’t trust. They have served me wel my entire life. I can honestly say that only once in my life did I call someone kind of wrong, and lucky for me that mistake didn’t hurt me all that much. I think that’s pretty good out of 50 years, and I was maybe 12 or 13 then.
    Mitch´s last blog ..Need Help Setting Goals? My ComLuv Profile

  2. JD on Tue, 19th Jan 2010 12:55 pm

    3. Good afternoon, Mitch.

    You’re lucky to have a good set of Spidey senses to help you with this.

    I must not have been bitten by that radioactive spider, because I really don’t have a reliable Spidey sense.

    Maybe learning to notice my gut feelings is similar, but I think I’d prefer a highly-tuned set of Spidey senes, any day! ;)

    Truthfully, when I was younger, I really wasn’t very good at judging character. I expected everyone to be honest and not to have any hidden agendas. I was wrong quite a few times before I got better at it.

    I’m happy to hear that you’ve not had to deal with that very much.

    All the best,

    JD

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