Think and Grow Rich test: Do you encourage others to bring their troubles to you for sympathy?
November 16th, 2009 by JD
My answers to the Think and Grow Rich Self-Assessment Test
Recently, I was reminded of the self-assessment test in Napoleon Hill’s best-selling book, Think and Grow Rich.
There are fifty-four questions in that test, and I’m going to be giving my answers and thoughts on one or two of them as close to daily as I can manage. I may miss a day here or there, but I’m going to follow through until I reach the end of the test.
I’ve started the series of posts with:
Question Number 32. Do you encourage others to bring their troubles to you for sympathy?
No, in general, I do not.
For my family and close friends, I always try to be available to listen when they have problems or other trouble. I’m a good listener.
But, like many men, I try to find a solution to the problem, rather than just give sympathy or even empathy.
Once it gets out of my very small circle of family and close friends, however, I’m not as easy to approach. At least, I don’t think I am.
I have to wonder about that a bit, as I think of all the blogging and social networking that I do. Perhaps I’m a bit easier to approach than I originally thought. In fact, I’m much easier to approach online than I am offline.
I hadn’t really thought much about that until just now.
The problem arises, however, when the same person keeps coming back to me with the same trouble. Over time, I tend to lose any empathy I have unless they are seriously trying to find a way to solve the situation.
Some situations aren’t solvable.
Many are.
I’m going to have to think about this question some more.
What about you?
Do you encourage others to bring their troubles to you for sympathy?
All the best,
JD
This entry was posted on Monday, November 16th, 2009 at 7:36 am and is filed under Books, Self-Improvement, Success and Failure. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
November 21st, 2009 at 10:11 pm
I’d have to admit that I don’t fully like how the question is worded, so I’m going to assume it’s a language issue based on when he wrote it.
On the other post I said I don’t have lots of close friends. But I do know a lot of people, and they do tend to come to me with their problems. And I help people work through their problems, professional and personal. I also do executive coaching when I can, so you can see how that would work.
I don’t want them coming to me for sympathy, though. I don’t want to just listen and not help. That’s where I have an issue with how the question is worded. Otherwise, I love to help.
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November 22nd, 2009 at 9:19 am
Good morning, Mitch.
I agree with you about how the question is worded. I, too, had to assume that it was a question of semantics that had to do with the style of writing nearly 100 years ago.
On the other hand, most of what Napoleon Hill said then is clear and straightforward, so I’m not sure.
I don’t see much of a point in getting sympathy for a problem if you’re not going to at least try to do something to solve the problem.
I don’t know if this is a difference between men and women, or not. Some say that it is, but I know lots of women who don’t want sympathy. When they identify a problem they want to talk about it, but they also look for ways to overcome it.
I know others, both men and women, who just want someone to commiserate with them, and that just drives me crazy after a time or two.
I’ve recognized this in myself earlier this year, and I’m doing all I can to stop wallowing in self-pity and to find a way to overcome the problems and move forward with my life. Yes, some things happened that weren’t in my plan. Yes, some of them were very difficult to come to terms with.
No, I’m not going to continue to complain about them. I’m going to find a way to overcome them.
I get no pleasure nor comfort from sympathy and very little from self-pity.
So, semantics aside, if a friend or relative has a problem, I’m always ready to listen - as long as they are looking for ways to solve it and move on with their lives.
Sometimes I can help, other times I can’t, but I’m willing to try.
All the best,
JD