I’ve been thinking a lot about this over the last few days when I was tied up on another project.

I’m not entirely sure that a little self-pity isn’t a good thing, now and then.

It may make it a bit easier to fully embrace what’s going on with us and I think that may lead to new ways to experience and learn from whatever it is that is bothering us.

When I say this, I mean just a very little self-pity. If we spend too much time there, we fall into its seductive embrace and that will certainly work against us.

The problem gets serious, however, when we’d rather feel sorry for ourselves than be motivated to take steps to overcome the problems we’re facing.

Facing problems head-on can be very difficult, but, as far as I know, it’s the only way to overcome them and continue on the path to accomplishing the goals we are working towards.

I talk to lots of people and I don’t know anyone whose consulting business hasn’t taken a hit. Now, most of the people I talk to are like you and me who own our own businesses and don’t have employees. I don’t know how the big consulting firms are doing.

I do know that all the business owners and managers I know are keeping a very close eye on their expenses, and that’s a big change when compared to the last few years.

I’m not sure where you said it, but some aren’t even willing to spend a few thousand dollars even if it may save them many times that. To my mind, that’s being “penny wise and pound foolish,” but it’s a sign of the times.

I hope it turns around for you, soon.

Act on your dream!

JD

I know we all go through those periods, and we all have our reasons for it. Mine is that the consulting part of business has fallen totally off the radar, and the money I’m making isn’t enough to help us even think about staying equal to the hump, not even considering trying to get over it. Certainly not where I thought I’d be in the year I turned 50, that’s for sure.

Still, we persevere when we’re ready, right? But I will say this. Dude, you did everything you could do for your mother. The one consolation you have to take with you is that you gave everything you had. You never would have made that promise if you’d known what was coming; it’s a promise I knew I’d never make with either of my parents or my grandmother. Right now, I’m only hoping I’m up to what might be going on here with my mother, and of course I already don’t think I’d be a good 24/7 caregiver to my grandmother, who’s fairly self sufficient but her memory isn’t what it was either.

And you’re right about one other thing; self pity does give us something. I don’t know that I’d want to say it makes me feel good, but it gives me an emotion I can roll with for awhile, then an emotion I know I can overcome. But when we’re there,…

Good topic; I’m enjoying this process.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..How Do You Value? =-.

“It’s been said that the gods honor those who are undergoing soul-crushing issues….they know they are up to the challenge.”

I enjoy challenges, just not so many at one time!

Thanks, again.

JD

I personally love that take on it; it’s comforted me more times than I care to remember. Best wishes for the future.
.-= Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog ..Learn HOW I got#2 out of 78 MILLION for ‘High SEO’…and how you can too! =-.

Thank you very much for your kind words of support. I really appreciate them.

It actually makes some difference now that I feel like I have finally discovered the cause of my downward slide last year. Still, it’s going to be difficult to get through it.

There is a big difference in how I view all of this intellectually and how I feel it emotionally. I’m hoping that this disconnect will lessen with time.

I recognize and appreciate that I was able to do a lot for her for several years, but it’s those last few months that still get to me.

I don’t know what else to say, so I’m going to go back to work.

Thanks again, Barbara.

All the best,

JD

What you have discovered is that instead of being Superman…you’re merely human. And actually, that’s the very best that ANYONE of us can be.

You honored your mom and yourself to the very best of your abilities. Sometimes, though, real life kicks us in the teeth in such a way that the ONLY thing we can do is…acquiesce.

Nobody but *nobody* knows how they will react during a crisis situation. You did the very best you could do…it just wasn’t possible to do more.

For that, you should honor yourself and indeed, grieve for what you were NOT able to accomplish. It’s real and it’s painful and it deserves to be acknowledged.

But also…you should honor yourself for everything you WERE able to do. The fact that you proved yourself to be human and NOT superman…it’s a hero’s journey we all undertake (and wow, it’s more painful than one can imagine indeed).

Lots of empathy and lots of good wishes. You were a great son to your mom….and I’ll bet she knew that.
.-= Barbara Ling, Virtual Coach´s last blog ..A friend is ALWAYS a priceless gem and you’re never too old for more =-.